At World's End Parody
by snowflakes and ink
Summary: The title says it all!
1. Chapter 1

At worlds end parody

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN POTC! whatever

Setting: _It was a sunny, bright morning, a whisper of wind. It was a good day for a game of golf but Lord Beckett had other thoughts. He figured out that hanging people by their necks till dead was an entertaining and relaxing, well, thing to watch._

Officer Mortimer J.O. Minost: 'staring at his parchment' I can't read.

Groves: that's too bad! Make something up!

Officer Mortimer J.O. Minost: whatever. Ahem, here goes: Right to assembly... suspended.

People dies

Officer Mortimer J.O. Minost: Right to habeus corpus... suspended.

More people dies

Random person who was about to be hung: Not fair! What a pile of BS!

Officer Mortimer J.O. Minost: Too bad, after all, even every canary in Port Royal knows that Lord Short-ahem, I mean Cutler Beckett has no heart and he hangs whoever who speaks or gets associated with the P word because he was neither cool enough nor tall enough to be one of the Ps!

Same random person who was about to be hung: what P word?

Officer Mortimer J.O. Minost: pirate. 'Realized what he had just spoken' AHHHHH! I've got to wash my mouth with soap! 'Runs off'

People who were about to be hung: Hehe

_Anyway, the hanging continued until we saw a young boy about 10 walking up the platform thingy with a silver coin in his hand._

Executioner: Oooo! Shiny!

Boy: 'sweat-drop but starts to sing' the king and his men, stole the queen from her bed, bound her in her bones. The seas be ours and by the powers…..

Guy beside him who was about to be hung: OMG! This is catching. Hm, let's see: yo ho, all hands hoist the colors high!

_Very soon, the singing-virus spread through the line of people who were about to be hung. All the Royal Navy Pansie-oops, I mean guards started backing off. These guys were not paid for their brains, see, the prisoners were in chains and shackles and the guards were carrying bayonets! Geesh! Anyway, Groves, who decided it was the best time to show off his observation skills reported this to Lord Short-ahem, I mean Cutler Beckett. _

Groves: Lord Short-sorry, I mean Lord Beckett! They've started to sing, sir.

Beckett: no shit, Sherlock

Groves: it is creepy, sir

Beckett: yeah, yeah, you can go now, Sherlock

Groves: Pardon?

Beckett: Clearly you are not a fan of Arthur Conan Doyle's. Wait, has he being born yet?

Groves: No idea. We are in the 18th century aren't we?

Pause

Beckett: yeah, I know that.

_Anyway, the boy got hung too and yeah, end of chapter one. _


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

In the next scene, Elizabeth was rowing in a, um, err, boat thingy. Anyway, she was singing the same song the boy was singing previously.

Elizabeth: 'acting innocent' Yo ho, all together, blah blah blah blah blah blahhhhhhhhhh!

Random Chinese guy: Shut up! My ears are bleeding!

Elizabeth: Someone don't like the classic!

Another random Chinese guy: Oooo! You watch Ice Age 2 too?

Elizabeth: Yeah! I like the saber-tooth tiger whatever his name is! He's so cute! Like Will!

Random Chinese guy: Um, I don't think that was in the script, was it?

Pause, crickets chirped

Elizabeth: nope

Random Chinese guy: Anyway, what are you going here alone? Hint hint!

Barbossa: 'walking down the stairs in a cool manner' what makes you think she's alone? 'Tries to do a hair flip but failed miserably'

Elizabeth: AHHHH! Stalker!

Barbossa: no more caffeine, you heard me, Lizzie?

Elizabeth: 'who was playing with a lock of her hair and was not listening to a single word Barbossa was saying' you said something, Barbie?

Barbossa: 'rolls eyes'

Meanwhile, in the river, we saw some coconut shells floating by. No! They are not coconut shells; they are Gibbs, Cotton, Pintel, Ragetti, and Marty!

Gibbs: I feel like a turtle! 'Giggles' I feel so cute!

Marty: I don't think that Elizabeth was the only one who was caffeine high tonight!

Pintel: Aye!

Ragetti: Aye!

Pintel: I just said that, you freak!

In Sao Feng's house/castle/palace/den/burrow/coop/style/whatever, Barbossa was doing an excellent example of a stripe dance with his guns in front of the Chinese guys. Elizabeth looked on with interest.

Chinese guy: 'winking at Elizabeth' if you think that if she is a woman we would not suspect her of treachery, you are wrong, loser!

Elizabeth started stripping off all of her guns which was quite a lot. After she was done with it, the Chinese guy told her to remove her pants.

Chinese guy: Hehe! OW! 'Gets punched in the eye by Elizabeth'

Elizabeth: Pervert!

Barbossa: Good one, Elizabeth!

Elizabeth: Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

In Sao Feng's house/castle/palace/den/burrow/coop/style/whatever, there were lots of Davy-Jones'-wannabe-crew-members sitting in hot tubs enjoying a bath of moss with corals growing out of their heads. Finally, they reached a corner where a tall, bald figure was standing. He slowly turned around and we saw that he was………..Sao Feng!

Sao Feng: Welcome, Barbossa, to Singapore! Go ahead and visit the Merlion, Sentosa, zoo, bird-park, whatever, the Changi Air tower is not bad too! They are all tourist attractions in the 21th century!

Elizabeth: We are in the 18th century, Sao Feng!

Pause

Sao Feng: I know that

Barbossa: You sound like Beckett

Random girl standing beside Sao Feng whispered in Barbossa's ears

Barbossa: oh! I see! Tell him to go off coffee soon!

Sao Feng: So, for what purpose do you consult me? 'Looks pleased with himself he had just used a big word'

Elizabeth: We need a stupid ship of yours and a crew of imbeciles of yours as well.

Sao Feng: hmm, that's strange, you see, a few days ago, a loser for a thief tried to make away with a map/chart whatever, and perhaps, he belongs to your men 'orders his men to pull Will out of water'

Will: I 'pant' bet 'pant' you that 'pant' in the next minute 'pant' I am 'pant' going to 'pant' grow 'pant' gills!

Sao Feng: Do you know him?

Elizabeth and Barbossa: no

Sao Feng: Fine! Time to practice me dart throwing skills

Elizabeth: 'freaking out' OMG! NO!

Barbossa: thanks a whole lot, Elizabeth!

Elizabeth: Well, I can't just let him die! 'Puppy eyes'

Everyone in Sao Feng's house/castle/palace/den/burrow/coop/style/whatever: AWWWW!!

Sao Feng: You came into me country, you betrayed me hospitality, and yet you tried to steal-

Barbossa: I have no idea that-

Sao Feng: That he would get caught!

Elizabeth: and speaking of hospitality, the place you made us stay in was like crap! The toilet's choked for years!

Pause

Sao Feng: I know that

Elizabeth: good

Sao Feng: I was wondering why were you looking for this map/chart whatever thingy?

Barbossa: To save Jack Sparrow

Two girls beside Sao Feng: 'swoons'

Sao Feng: 'shouting at them' shut up! I am the hottest! 'Tries do to a hair flip but realized that he has no hair'

Female audiences: 'puke'

Elizabeth: anyway, Jack Sparrow, as one of the nine retards in other words, pirate lords is trapped in Davy's locker, and basically, you know, he holds on to one of the pieces of eights.

Sao Feng: oh?

Barbossa: Yeah

Elizabeth: So we need your ship and crew of imbeciles

Sao Feng: um……….nope Muahahahaha! 'Wipes out sword' I can't remember the rest of my script for the last scene so let's fight for nothing!

Elizabeth: Shit, we are weaponless! Oh! Thanks! 'Catches swords which Gibbs threw up to her.

_They all started fighting, and Will, being the smart guy he was managed to free himself. It was hard to say who won, but by the power of the script-writer, the pirates managed to get away un-harmed._

On the ship……

Elizabeth: EWW! Nice hair! Tia!

Tia: thank you, Elizabeth!

Elizabeth: I was being sarcastic, you know?

Tia: oh

Pause

Tia: me too


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Far away………………………………

_The Flying Dutchman rose out of the water, it shook, and broke into half._

Davy Jones: oops?

_Anyway, the ship got healed back again. It made bread crumbs out of some of the pirates' ships. On board of the Endeavour, Lord Short-oops, Beckett was playing with some tiny models of his own ships. _

Beckett: Ha! Two down, a 0.0000003 more to go

Mercer: Actually, it was a three hundred and fifty more pirate ships to go

Beckett: must you tease me of my math? 'Tears started to fill his eyes'

Mercer: Yeah, sounds great

Beckett: you are fired

Mercer: I have brought the Admiral to you, Beckett

Beckett: Great, you are hired again

Admiral Norrington: you called, Lord?

Beckett: No, I didn't

Admiral Norrington: You are caffeine high again, my lord

Beckett: Am not!

Admiral Norrington: you are!

Beckett: Am not! 'Pouts'

Admiral Norrington: by gathering the fact that you forgot what you said ten minute ago and your childish behavior, I therefore deduced that you are high on caffeine again.

Beckett: wow! You speak like Sherlock Holmes!

Admiral Norrington: Pardon?

Beckett: Clearly you are, too, not a fan of Arthur Donan Coyle

Admiral Norrington: We are in the 18th century, my lord

Pause

Beckett: I know that

Admiral Norrington: 'sniggers' oh really?

Beckett: What's so funny?

Admiral Norrington: 'thinking fast' um, a joke

Beckett: oh?

Admiral Norrington: how do you know if there is an elephant under your bed?

Beckett: Um, because you told me?

Admiral Norrington: Awesome! It's not even close

Beckett: oh! How do you know than?

Admiral Norrington: because you will need a ladder to get into bed.

Beckett: Why can't the elephant be flat?

Admiral Norrington: Have you even seen an elephant before, my lord?

Beckett: of course! What did you take me for? An idiot?

Admiral Norrington: close

Beckett: you are fired

Admiral Norrington: Sucks for me

Beckett: Yay!

Admiral Norrington: Then you will have no Admirals on your ships, my Lord

Beckett: shit, you are hired again

Admiral Norrington: Good

Beckett: Norrie, your old friend is waiting

Admiral Norrington: I have no old friend

Beckett: I meant it figuratively

Admiral Norrington: oh, you know what is meant by the word 'figuratively'?

Beckett: yeah

Admiral Norrington: That's something new

Beckett: shut up, there's the box on the table, your friend is inside

Admiral Norrington: Oh, thanks

_He walked over to the box and opened it and removed the sword. At the same time, some dude of Beckett was asking the Governor for execution permits. _

Governor: Shit 'giggles' I feel high! 'Started singing' I believe I can fly!!

Admiral Norrington: Wow, nice sword, looks familiar

Beckett: It was you old sword, Norrie

Admiral Norrington: the name's James Norrington and yeah, I recognized it

Beckett: good

Admiral Norrington: good day, my lord, I better be off

Beckett: where are you going?

Admiral Norrington: Going to die

Beckett: Hahahaha! That's some joke!

Admiral Norrington: No, seriously, I am about to die five scenes later!

Beckett: ha-ha! I love socks! 'Started to do the most horrifying impression of Dobby the house elf'

Admiral Norrington: Never, ever drink any coffee again, my lord.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_Barbossa and company were sailing through a frozen sea so naturally, they were frozen too. Basically, all of them looked as though they had just aged thirty years within a fort-night with their hair/beard/moustache/whatever all white. _

Elizabeth: 'shaking with cold' this coldness is freezing my butt off

Will: At least you have a freaking blanket!

Elizabeth: good point, I will shut up then

Jack the monkey: That's me blankie! 'Snatched the blanket away from Elizabeth'

Elizabeth: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo

Will: Elizabeth, shut up

Elizabeth: 'crying' the monkey's got my blanket! Damn it!

Will: Elizabeth, just shut up

Elizabeth: 'pouts but her tongue got frozen and she could not talk'

Will: FINALLY!! 'Started to do a disgusting worm dance but since he was frozen, all he could do was to shake from side to side and looking like a complete dude aka frozen worm'

Barbossa: I feel like Santa Claus

Tia: You bet

_While Will and some random Chinese guy were trying to decipher the map, Barbossa was trying to irritate them by doing the lousiest impression of Santa Claus you could ever imagine._

Barbossa: HO HO HO! Merry Christmas! 'Hobbles around'

Gibbs: Barbossa, for the last time, stop doing that before I lost whatever sanity I have left

Barbossa: That's not me problem. HO HO HO!

Tia: You should stop eating apples, Barbie; they can damage your brains

Barbossa: HO HO HO! Shut up


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_Lord Beckett and loser Mercer were standing on their ship watching the pirate ships getting ruined by the Flying Dutchman. _

Lord Beckett: you said something about the governor, loser?

Mercer: yes, he was asking questions

Lord Beckett: about?

Mercer: the chest, duh!

Lord Beckett: how can you be rude to me? You are fired

Mercer: Therefore, we have decided to do away with him

Lord Beckett: good man, you are hired again

On the Flying Dutchman………………

_Davy Jones was playing the organ with his face. Then he heard his little music box play and stopped and stared at it. _

Davy Jones: Masquerade, paper faces on parade, masquerade, hide your face so the world can never find you 'looks angry'

Random Sailor: wrong song

Davy Jones: Oh, shut up! 'Kills the random sailor'

_Outside, Navy dudes were assembling on the deck, acting brave and heroic. Mullroy and Murtogg, the two infamous freaks were looking scared and brave at the same time. Don't know how those guys did it anyway. _

Admiral Norrington: Mullroy, tuck in your shirt, Murtogg, pull up your socks, both of you, adjust your wigs 'suddenly looks cheerful and started giving out hello kitty lollipops to all of his officers'

Mullroy: what are you, high school disciplinary master?

Admiral Norrington: you are fired

Davy Jones: Why are you here, Mister Admiral Norrington!? Go away and take that thing with you 'spits out water'oops

Admiral Norrington: 'looks disgusted' watch your manners, Jones

Davy Jones: I have none 'Snigges'

Admiral Norrington: Yucks

Davy Jones: bring an unbrella next time

Admiral Norrington: good point 'wipes out an unbrella, thrust it into Jones' throat and opened it' Muahahahahahahaha!

Beckett: good one, Norrie. Hello, Jones

Davy Jones: 'looking around for the source of the voice' huh?

Beckett: 'piling up ten stools to sit on just to reach Jones's height' I am here, Mister Jones

Davy Jones: 'Spits out the umbrella onto Beckett' oh, hello, shortie. 'Giggles'

_The umbrella landed on Beckett's head and closed, so basically, Beckett look like a enormous sausage covered in Jones' spit and all we can see of him was his feet_

Beckett: . anyway, we need live prisoners to interrogate, so don't go wasting your cannon balls for nothing.

Davy Jones: You know what is the meaning of 'interrogate'? Not bad! 'Sniggers'

Beckett: you are to sail under my command, get it?

Davy Jones: What if I don't?

Beckett: you can kiss your heart goodbye.

Davy Jones: dang


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_Meanwhile, Barbossa and gang were sailing through a dark, starry sea. Everyone who had brain-freezed during the cold was lying down on the deck counting stars. _

Random Chinese guy: One two, three………….thousand and twenty, thousand and twenty-one…………thirty-three million eighty thousand and ninety…….shit, I lost count again! Nooooooo! 'Starts to cry'

Will: what's with the crying ?

Barbossa: don't worry; people tend to go mad taking hot baths too often

Elizabeth: I am emo

Will: Really? Is it because your pet hamster died yesterday or is it because you lost a hair?

Elizabeth: no, I don't know why

Barbossa: 'sniggering to himself' Elizabeth and Jackie sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G………..

Will: What's so funny?

Barbossa: Um, a joke

Will: Oh?

Barbossa: Yeah, how do you know if there is an elephant under your bed?

Will: Um, because you told me?

Barbossa: awesome! It's not even close

Will: dang

Elizabeth: then how do you know?

Barbossa: You will need a ladder to get into bed

Elizabeth: man that was lame

Barbossa: what can I say? I am a lame guy!

Elizabeth: lamo 'went and sat by herself'

Will: Hey, pretty, when can you stop being an emo-kid? Or shall I say, lady?

Elizabeth: When you shut your trap and go away

Will: I don't have a trap

Elizabeth: OH! So where did all that pile of spoken crap came from? Your arse?

Pause

Will: er, is that a trick question?

Elizabeth: erm, how about no? 'runs off'

Tia: 'having a lump of rice stucked in her throat' YoureallysuckssometimeWillTurner

Will: Huh? Did you just speak fish or something?

Tia: Yeah, I am suppose to, my husband is the fish-fishy man FISH FACE!

Will: Huh? FISH FACE!

Tia: Davy Jones FISH FACE!

Will: HUh? FISH FACE!

Tia:Your sister FISH FACE!

Will: I have a sister? FISH FACE!

Tia: 'slaps forehead' NO! You are getting more and more stupid by the minute, Will FISH FACE!

Will: No shit FISH FACE!

Tia: Well, at least you know FISH FACE!

Gibbs: Hey! We are gaining speed! FISH FACE

Barbossa: No shit, Einstein! FISH FACE!

Gibbs: Who is Einstein? FISH FACE!

Barbossa: no idea FISH FACE!

Will: Shit! FISH FACE! To your station! FISH FACE! Do whatever you are supposed to do! FISH FACE!

Barbossa: Don't listen to the eunuch! FISH FACE!

Will: WTF?! FISH FACE! What's with the fish face, FISH FACE!

Barbossa: Let the boat run! We are all doomed anyway! AHAHAHA! FISH FACE!

Elizabeth: Help me! I am too young and pretty to die! 'Started crying'

Barbossa: hang on to something! FISH FACE!

Will: 'Hangs on to a thread'FACE FISH! Hey, that was new!

Barbossa: Hang on to something SECURE! 'Rolls eyes'

Some random chinese guy: 'managed to finish counting stars' OMG! I AM SMART!! YAY! UH-HUH! OOOOO-YAYYYYY!"Started doing a retarded version of chicken dance and let go of the ship' AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! At least I can die smart! FISH FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!

_Everyone hung on to something secure and only a few suckers were flung off the ship. The scene went black. _


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_The scene appeared and we saw Jack sniffing along the table looking for…………………………a peanut, or more like half a peanut. _

Random Jack Sparrow: yummy! Peanut! Is it sweet or salty? 'Starts to eat the peanut but was shot'

Actually Jack Sparrow: shoo! Don't touch me peanut! 'Eats the peanut' Oi! Weigh anchor! Set up top sail! Hurry, you pack of suckers!

Random Jack nearby: we are part of you, so you are a calling yourself a sucker too! 'Sniggers'

Actual Jack Sparrow: Shut up, me

_There were a lot of Jacks on the deck, some of them laying eggs and making out with goats. _

Actual Jack: Mr. Sparrow! What do you think of this line thingy?

Mr. Sparrow: Um, it looks awesome

Actual Jack: yeah, awesomely horrendous

Mr. Sparrow: shut your face, can't you give me another chance? 'Pouts'

Actual Jack: shall I? 'Stabs Mr. Sparrow' MUAHAHAHAHA! It all has to be re-done! All of it! You guys are a bunch of dudes! 'Grabs a line' I lick my hands of this weirdness. BYE!

_Unfortunately, he slide down the rope, lost his balance and fell on his butt. _

Jack: ow

Random Rock nearby: Hello, loser

Jack: huh?

Rock: Hello, loser

Jack: Hello! Beckett! Wow, you are shorter than before! I can't even see you

Rock: Idiot 'creeps closer' BOO!

Jack: 'lets out a very unmanly scream' AHHHHHHHHHHHH! 'Looks down' Hehe! It's a rock 'picks it up and licked it' ewww!! 'Threw the rock away' Gee! Even rock can speak in this place. You think so? Yeah? Right! ME too! People just don't know how to wear a corset inside out! And women! What with them? Huh? They suck? No! You suck! Jack! YOU are the worst pirate I have ever heard of! 'Starts beating himself up'

Rock: you are crazy, and can you put me down properly next time?

Jack: sorry, mate, I can't possibly do that. How do I know if you are not Beckett in a rock's costume? As for the first, yeah, I am crazy, that's what you get when you have being in Joney Dav's locker for too long.

Rock: It is Davy Jones, you bum

Jack: that just proved my point, did it not?

Rock: Hmm, true enough. I am here to help you, Jack

Jack: and from whom?

Rock: Make a guess

Jack: Um, Elizabeth?

Rock: Um, let me guess, no

Jack: Will?

Rock: Yeah

Jack: OMG! I knew it! Young Willer Turnlliam will come to rescue me! He will not forget about his lover

Pause

Rock: Wow, that was...disgusting! I am not sent by Will

Jack: How about some clue?

Rock: a woman

Jack: Barbossa?

Rock: the other woman

Jack: More clues please?

Rock: She is a voodoo girl

Jack: Um, Pintel?

Rock: I said a GIRL!

Jack: Um, Ragetti?

Rock: AHHHHH! I REPEAT! A WOMAN SENT ME! A WOMAN WITH LONG HAIR!!

Jack: James Norrington?

Rock: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! TIA DALMA! YOU BUM!

Jack: Wow, you don't have to shout!

Rock: You need to be shouted at!

Jack: go away

Rock: No

Jack: Pretty please?

Rock: no, and please is not pretty

Jack: Please?

Rock: No

Jack: I am gonna run!

Rock: fine, I will just have to follow you then

Jack: stalker

Rock: Whatever

Jack: Shut up 'Picks up the stone and threw it away again'

Rock: OW! OW! OW! AHHHH! I can't feel me legs! I LOVE CORSETS!! Oh no, not the catchphrase again

Jack: Hehe I LOVE CORSETS!

Rock: you do?

Jack: no

Rock: 'suddenly spouts legs and became a crab' MUAHAHAHAHA! FEAR ME! I AM A …………………crab? I LOVE CORSETS!

Jack: HAHAHAHAH! LOSER! I LOVE CORSETS! 'Faints from laughing too hard'

Crab: sucker 'goes to some weird places and whistled for its other crab-friends' that sucker there needs our help I LOVE CORSETS!

Crab one: You do?

Crab: No, that was just a catchphrase I LOVE CORSETS!

_Anyway, they began to roll the Black Pearl along like some sausages. Poor crabs were getting crushed themselves and Jack could not be bothered by them at all. Talk about animal cruelty. _

Jack: 'finally recovering from shock' Oi! Me Ship! You robbers are stealing me ship! I LOVE CORSETS!!

Crabs: HAHAHAHA! Loser 'gets crushed' OW! I LOVE CORSETS! NOT THE CATCHPHRASE AGAIN!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_The rest of the crew or shall I say the remaining of the crew members from the Princess crawled up the shore. _

Elizabeth: Someone once told me that Davy Jones' locker was not bright and sunny; I think that person is color-blind

Will: I don't see Jack

Tia Dalma: shut up, eunuch, Jackie is hotter and closer that you think

_Then we saw Jack, standing on the black pearl and sailing under………crabs? Anyway, he was carried to the ocean and the poor crabs were scattered everywhere. _

Crabs: ouch I LOVE CORSETS!

Ragetti: Look, boat

Pintel: I have eyes, thank you

Ragetti: I was just pointing that out! 'Pouts'

Gibbs: Kick me thrice and slap me hard, it's Jack!

Will: 'kicked Gibbs thrice and slapped him hard' okay

Gibbs: I just mentioned it figuratively, loser

Jack: Yo! Gibbs! Please tell me about the poor condition of whatever thing that is! Can you do that? NO? WHY NOT!? I LOVE CORSET!'Giggles'

Gibbs: you do?

Jack: no, that was a catchphrase

Gibbs: oh, um, we are in Davy Jones' locker, Jack

Jack: Yeah, duh! I know that! I LOVE CORSETS!

Gibbs: I don't think you do

Jack: I do!! I LOVE CORSETS! 'Pouts'

Elizabeth: Wow, he is even more matured than he originally was

Jack: It seems that I have a ship and you are the ones in need of help, too bad I don't seem to be in the mood to. I LOVE CORSETS! 'Started walking down the line recruiting crew members'

Will: Hello, Jack

Jack: William, tell me, did you come because you wanted to save a puppy drowning in water or drowning puppy, which ever. Choose one I LOVE CORSETS!

Will: Erm, partially yes

Jack: really? I LOVE CORSETS!

Will: NO! Duh!

Jack: Because you are not in front of me at all. You are not REALLY here! Get it? I LOVE CORSETS!

Will: Um, actually, we are real. OW!

Elizabeth: 'slapping Will' stop stealing my line

Jack: Hello, Lizzie I LOVE CORSETS!

Elizabeth: the name is Elizabeth

Pause

Jack: I know that I LOVE CORSETS!!

Barbossa: Hello, Jackie

Jack: Hello, Barbie I LOVE CORSETS!

Barbossa: Isla de Muetar, you shot me, remember?

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

(You know what this is like, so yeah; you can pretty much skip this)

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did (If you are still reading this you need therapy)

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: no, I did not I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: yes you did

Jack: NO I DID NOT! I LOVE CORSETS

Barbossa: YES YOU DID! 'Started break dancing just to prove his point'

Jack: 'pouts' hey, who are you? I LOVE CORSETS

Random Chinese guy: Tai Huang, but you can call me TH or Tai or Huang

Jack: Can I call you 'it' instead? I LOVE CORSETS

Random Chinese guy: no

Jack: dang

Random Chinese guy: pick one and stay with it

Jack: I shall call you TH then, it sounds piratey

TH: Whatever

Jack: Since you had such a cool name, you are hired

TH: Thanks, sucker

Jack: 'opens compass'

Compass: 'spinning like crazy' wheeeeeeeeeee!

Barbossa: Which way are you going, Jack? 'Jack the monkey made faces at Jack'

Jack: 'also making faces at Jack the monkey, this continued for twenty minutes, that is, until human Jack's face was stuck in the middle of making faces, his eye pupils were together, his tongue sticked out and his mouth curled into a silly grin. He looked even more retarded that he originally was'

Will: Can we go now? I want to be the first to get to the rum instead of Matured-Jack.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Barbossa: set up top sails!

Jack: Set up bottom sails!

Barbossa: Haul loose the mooring line!

Jack: tighten the mooring line!

Barbossa: What are you doing?

Jack: NO, what are YOU doing?

Barbossa: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Jack: NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? The captain of the ship gives orders

Barbossa: the captain IS giving orders so shut up!

Jack: my ship makes me captain

Barbossa: they be me charts!

Jack: That makes you Chart-man

Barbossa: Never heard of that before

Jack: yeah, I invented it! Woo-hoo! Uh-huh! GO JACK! GO JACK! 'Started dancing the robot'

Pintel: shut up! The both of you! That's an order! I am boss around here! Do you understand?!

Jack: shut it, you can be the rat's captain

Pintel: oops, sorry, I just thought that the captains might be in doubt and I may be needed to settle the argument. So sorry! 'Giggles'

Jack: Pintel, you have some serious problems going on in that coconut head of yours

Barbossa: WE are not finished yet, Jack

_Both Jack and Barbossa pushed/squeezed/nudged each other out of the way towards the helm, Pintel stayed with Ragetti_

Ragetti: although you are a plain loser for a captain, I will vote for you

Pintel: Really?

Ragetti: as the rats' captain

Pintel: You are all so mean! 'Cries'

Barbossa: 'pulls out a rather flashy looking spyglass, Jack looked amused'

Jack: 'pulls out his but his was so small that it could fit into his ear' Dang

Barbossa: loser

_Meanwhile, we turn away from the two suckers to a very sad scene. Elizabeth was sitting on the steps of the black pearl looking like some puppy in distress. Then Will came into the picture. _

Will: BOO! 'Giggles'

Elizabeth: 'glares'

Will: What happened between you and Jackie?

Elizabeth: What?

Will: What?

Elizabeth: WHAT?

Will: Stop it

Elizabeth: Don't think I love that stupid, rougish scumbag, I just hate to break it to you, sucker

Will: Fine, be that way! 'Pouts' But I bore the burden too, loser

Elizabeth: do I look as though I care?

Will: Erm, no

Elizabeth: Good, now get out!

Will: WOMAN!

Elizabeth: yeah, I know I am one, now GET OUT!

Will: fine! But you don't have to be a 'censored' about it

Elizabeth: let me get this straight, you are the sucker around here

Will: I am not

Elizabeth: go

Will: I can never be

Elizabeth: away

Will: true, I can never be away 'tries to do a hair flip but, like Sao Feng, he failed despite the fact that he has hair'

Elizabeth: 'slapping Will' Shut up, Will! Leave me alone!

Will: Aww, things are starting to get sad

SLAP

Will: FINE! I am leaving now! Geez! Women these days!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Ragetti and Pintel were sitting on the deck playing go fish, until Ragetti spotted some eerie things floating in the water.

Ragetti: OMG! What the heck are these?

Pintel: Don't know, look like cotton candy to me

Ragetti: I shouldn't have asked

Pintel: Hey, what do you think would happen if we drop cannon-balls on them?

Ragetti: Most likely we will get spanking from Tia Dalma although I won't mind.

Pintel: Better not, than

Tia: Smartest thing you have ever said, Pin

Barbossa: Look! Boats!

Will: Shut it, dude

Elizabeth: Hey! Look! It's my father! We have made it back! FATHER! FATHER! OMG! DADDY!

Jack: um, Elizabeth, I thought you were smart, can't you see that we are NOT BACK YET?

Elizabeth: shut it, Jack

Jack: but-

Elizabeth: no buts

Daddy Swann: Elizabeth! Are you dead!

Elizabeth: No, duh!

Daddy Swann: Because I think I am 'sniggers' 'singing' _I believe I am dead!!_

Elizabeth: ha-ha, very funny, come aboard

Daddy Swann: no, I will get sea-sick

Elizabeth: You are on the sea, geesh

Daddy Swann: whatever, you see, there was this heart thing, and it pumps without even being connected to the person's body! Isn't it amazing?

Elizabeth: you are making me sick. Wait, our heart is in our body? 'Looks fascinated'

Daddy: I learnt that if you stab the heart, yours must take its place. The Crazy crocodile submarin-I mean Flying Dutchman must have a captain.

Elizabeth: Too many big words. Can you just shut it and come back with us?

Daddy: no

Elizabeth: Please?

Daddy: no

Elizabeth: Pretty please?

Daddy: NO! For the last time, I will give your hate, oops, um, love to your mother, shall I? In addition, please is not pretty

Elizabeth: 'started going hyper and trying to jump off the side of the ship' NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Tia: She must not leave the ship! Hey, why should I care anyway?

Will: 'hugging her and singing her a lullaby for the sake of his own ears'Somewhereeeeeeeeeeeee! Over the rainbow way uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppp highhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Jack: I think I am gonna puke

Will: Turn to your right and puke on Marty

Marty: oh, nice of you, Will

Will: thanks

Marty: I was only being sarcastic

Will: what?

Marty: Never mind

Will: Oi, you, Tia, there is no other freaking solutions, are there?

Tia: yeah, there is

Will: Really?

Tia: NO! Let him RIP

Will: rip who?

Tia: RIP! Not rip!

Will: Yeah, I said rip

Tia: It means Rest In Peace

Will: Who is resting in peace?

Tia: I swear, Will, you are turning dumber 'looks at Will, who was playing with Elizabeth's hair and giggling to himself'

Tia: Never mind.


	12. Chapter 12

_The next day, everyone on board the Black Pearl was facing an eternity of water shortage. Gibbs and Pintel practically drank all of the ship's supply of water and rum. Amazingly, Jack did not take any rum and was still awake and walking about fine. _

Jack: Wow! Cool! I am not drunk! 'Giggles and walked into Barbossa'

Barbossa: Touch me again and you are Jack-and-chips

Tia: If we do not get out of this 'beeping' place we will be doomed to sail the freaking sea which is not a sea for eternity without food or water or rum or play stations……..

Will: Play-stations?

Tia: Yeah, you know the PS2 they are selling now?

Will: Er….yeah? What about it?

Tia: we don't have one on board

Will: So?

Tia: WE ARE DOOMED! 'Started crying' NOOOOOO!!

Will: Sucks for you

_Meanwhile, Elizabeth was going emo on the steps of the black pearl. No one knows what she was thinking about. Is it her father, or her pet hamster that died yesterday due to over eating? It should be the latter, though. Anyway, Will looked at her, sniggered, and turned away. _

Jack: 'Looking at the map' I don't know what this 'beeping' map is trying to say.

Demon Jack: 'wearing red and a tail, he was holding on to a dining fork as his red hot stabbing thing was lost, your typical demon (except for the dining fork)' Stab the heart

Angel Jack: 'wearing white dress with a harp, your typical angel' no, don't stab the heart

Jack: Huh? Did someone say rum?

Angel Jack: Don't stab the heart, listen to what I say! You can step onto land and get all the rum you want, you can drink till you are so bloated that you look like a puffer fish with a mad temper.

Jack: Ooooh! I love rum! And I love puffer fish!

Demon Jack: What's with the puffer fish?

Jack: Angel says that I can drink so much rum that I would be bloated, like a puffer fish

Demon Jack: Stab the heart, and sail the seas for an eternity, and puffer fish sucks by the way

Angel Jack: They do not!

Demon Jack: They do!

Jack: Hey, why don't you two sort things out and I decide if I like puffer fish or not?

Angel: It is not about the puffer fish

Jack: Really? What were we talking about?

Demon Jack: Stab the heart

Angel Jack: Don't stab the heart, you cannot step onto land, no land, no rum, it is yours to choose, and ten years is a long time

Demon Jack: I can count, you bum

Angel Jack: 'started going hyper and hitting Demon Jack with his harp'

Jack: Piss off. 'He then discovered that overturning the ship can get them out of this rum-less and PS2-less place'

Jack: 'pointing to the right side of the ship' OMG! What's that! Is that Hello Kitty doing a break dance?

_Everyone went to the right of the ship to see the Hello Kitty break dancing thing, which does not exist. _

Will: What? Where is Hello Kitty? 'Starts to drool'

Jack: Ooooo! It went over to the other side!

_Everyone was running right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and leftYou know what is gonna happen, so you can pretty much skip this part and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left if you are still reading this you seriously need therapy and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left and right and left_

Barbossa: 'use his spit as lubricant for Ragetti wooden-eye' ew, I am so gross

Ragetti: ewww

_It was chaos on the ship, and those who did not reach the other side of the ship in time were made into meat paste. In the end, they managed to turn over the ship, but everyone had to hold their breath underwater for ten million years. _

Elizabeth: 'mouthing' I am gonna die! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Will: 'so freaked out by her muted scream that he let go of the ship and fell off'

Elizabeth: 'mouthing' OMG WILL! Hey, why should I care anyway?

Will: 'mouthing' sucker

Jack: 'mouthing' where did all the rum gone?

Barbossa: 'mouthing' I want apples

Tia: 'mouthing' I love elephants

Random Chinese guy: 'mouthing' I gotta pee


	13. Chapter 13

_After about one million years under the sea during which everyone were already turning blue, the Black Pearl finally erupted from under the sea like the Flying Dutchman. _

Nearby pirate ship: OMG! THE FLYING DUTCHMAN! GOTTA FLEEEEEEEE! 'Fled'

Black Pearl: Am I that scary?

Will: Shut it, you are not supposed to have lines

Black Pearl: Eunuch

Will: Hey, you listen to Jack too, huh?

Black Pearl: Yeah, I am his girl FISH FACE! Oh no!

Will: Hehe, FISH FACE!

Gibbs: Bless everyone alive at the moment! We are freaking back! FISH FACE!

Elizabeth: it is sunrise! FISH FACE!

Barbossa: No shit, FISH FACE!

Jack: what's with the fish face, FISH FACE!

Will: HEY! Stop stealing my lines FISH FACE!

Jack: Who are you calling fish face FISH FACE!

Will: Now you are calling me one FISH FACE!

Jack: Am not FISH FACE!

Will: You just did FISH FACE!

Elizabeth: SHUT UP! FISH FACE!

_Barbossa suddenly decided that playing with guns may be a better idea and perhaps a cure for the FISH FACE virus spreading around. So he wiped out his pistols and pointed it at Jack._

Barbossa: FISH FACE! 'Wipes out pistols'

Jack: FISH FACE! 'Also wiping out pistols'

Will: FISH FACE! 'Also wiping out pistols'

Elizabeth: FISH FACE! 'Also wiping out pistols'

Gibbs: FISH FACE! 'Also wiping out pistols'

_Barbossa stared at Jack, Jack stared at Will, Will stared at Elizabeth, Elizabeth stared at Jack, Jack stared at Barbossa, Barbossa stared at Will, Jack stared at Elizabeth, Gibbs stared at himself. _

Barbossa: 'starts laughing' haha

_Everyone else started laughing. _

Will: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! 'Rolls on the floor with laughter'

Everyone: 'stops laughing to stare at Will'

Jack: What is the joke about?

Will: 'stop laughing to stare at everyone' huh?

Barbossa: Why are you laughing so hard?

Will: Erm, because you started it?

Gibbs: Yeah, you started the laughing thing. PUFFER FISH SUCKS! Oh no, not another one.

Jack: Gee, thanks, Gibbs, PUFFER FISH SUCK!

Everyone: Suddenly pointing guns at each other again'

Barbossa: Jack, you and I are going to Shipwreck cove to meet up with the other seven pirate retards, there is no excuse about that. PUFFER FISH SUCK!

Jack: oh, I prefer to be the last pathetic pirate left on earth, thanks very much. PUFFER FISH SUCK!

Barbossa: Being the last freaking pirate means that you have fight Jones alone, how's that? PUFFER FISH SUCK!

Jack: Sounds good to me! 'Tried not to say the catchphrase'

Will: Hey! Jack's not saying the catchphrase!

Elizabeth: And neither are you

Barbossa: FINALLY! The catchphrase virus is GONE AND DONE WITH!

Gibbs: Yay! GONE AND DONE WITH! NOT ANOTHER ONE!!

Jack: Yeah, back to us, Barbie. You know what? Your face stinks, so I am going to put a nice hole in it, how about that? GONE AND DONE WITH! 'Pulls trigger but instead of bullets, flour came out'

_Very soon, everyone on board started a massive flour fight. Will tried to prevent his face from getting flour all over, so he tried to cover the left side of his face with his hand and the other one was too busy shooting flour at the others. After everyone had run out of flour, they all stared at Will. _

Will: What?

Barbossa: You look like Phantom of the opera

Will: Really?! OMG!

Elizabeth: but your singing still sucks

Will: ha-ha

Elizabeth: how about this, from now on, none of you say anything too majestic or complicated or it will become a virus.

Barbossa: Fine with me

Jack: not fine with me

Barbossa: I am not done with you yet, sucker

Will: 'pointing to a island on a map which says 'sucker land'' we will stop by here since we are all suckers to get fresh water from bear's stomach and head out to shipwreck cove. On the way, we can continue our shooting game and kill each other, how's that? SAO FENG IS HOT! Oh My God, that was the worst catchphrase EVER!

Elizabeth: ha-ha, Will is gay SAO FENG IS HOT! Oh no

Will: I thought I was your true love sob, sob

Will's Fan-girls: AWWWWWWWWW!! SAO FENG IS HOT! NO! NOT THE CATCHPHRASE AGAIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNN!!


	14. Chapter 14

__

I don't own pirates of the caribbean

Well, basically everyone just got out of the Black Pearl and board the long boat out onto sucker-island. There, Ragetti and Pintel got capsized again, like what they did in the second movie. Finally after a few pathetic attempts to get onto shore, they managed to drag themselves onto the island. Marty and TH started looking for bears by using a kitten little-box and a dog whistle, but instead of finding bears, they found themselves running away from a large pack of hairbrushes and toothpastes. Meanwhile, Jack and Barbossa were turning away from this entertaining yet disturbing show. Something caught Jack's attention away from the bears.

Barbossa: still thinking about hopping away happily in your Easter Bunny costume and basket of Easter eggs?

Jack: Yeah, hey! Why not Easter pig instead?

Barbossa: Back to what we were talking about

Jack: Easter bunny?

Barbossa: NO

Jack: 'thinking hard' Easter eggs?

Barbossa: 'slapping his forehead' NOOO!

Jack: how about some clue?

Barbossa: um, how about a short little man taking over the ocean?

Jack: Oooooh! You mean Marty?

Marty: 'returning from the toothpaste-hairbrush-fight yeah, I wish

Barbossa: Cutler Beckett

Jack: did someone say beef cutlet? Yes! I would want one, thank you!

Barbossa: Jack, you are the dumbest pirate I have ever seen

Jack: 'who was playing with a lock of his hair and not paying attention' what did you say?

Barbossa: Never mind

_They approached the Kraken. _

Jack: OMG! You are huge! What! Wanna fight?! Go on! Yeah! Uh-huh! 'Went into this boxing position'

Barbossa: 'rolls eyes' Jack, stop acting immature.

Jack: okay

Barbossa: The world is shrinking, Jack you shou-

Jack: OMG! The world is shrinking! AHHH! Someone teach me how to swim before I am submerged!!

Barbossa: No! That's not what I meant, I meant…..urghh! Never mind

Jack: Yeah?

Barbossa: Well, you should stand up to fight like what a pirate should do, instead of running away and hiding in a bee hive like you always did when there is a fight

Jack: I don't hide in bee hives, I hide in wasp hives.

Barbossa: Yeah, whatever

Jack: You point is…………

Barbossa: You should stuff your face

Jack: With what?

Barbossa: why did I even bother to talk to you?

Jack: because I am hot?

Barbossa: yeah, hey, is that Barbie dancing strip dance?

Jack: You are dancing strip dance?

Barbossa: shut up, Jack

Jack: But-

Barbossa: SHUT THE 'BEEP' UP!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

_They walked deeper into the forest. Jack irritated everyone by crapping around like nobody's business. _

Jack: Hey, I saw the patrol guy today, and guess what? He was wearing a sparkly purple suit, gosh I like sparkly things, coffee is nice today. I met Lincoln Rhyme yesterday, and Sachs too, and that pussy cat down in the cellar? Yeah, it got killed by a semi-automatic K57. Hehe and teddy bears are fuzzy, and I gotta get a Storm Arrow wheelchair soon, for my back, and I had fifty prairie dogs in my room. Geez! Those things are chewing up my rum, my clothes, and my nail polish! Gosh! And speaking of ...

Barbossa: Jack, shut up

Jack: ………..and I know a man who can drink soup with his eyeballs!

Barbossa: Really?

Jack: I am referring to Will

Barbossa: Why Will?

Jack: we were at a restaurant once, and Will ordered this bowl of lobster soap. You know the retard he is. He slammed his whole face into the soap and within the next few seconds, the soap is gone.

Barbossa: 'rolling eyes' he could have drank it

Jack: Yeah, with his eyes.

Gibbs: why not with his mouth?

Jack: because I stitched it up

Everyone: 'silence'

Jack: So he drank the soap with his eyeballs.

Barbossa: oh, um, wow

Gibbs: that is so reta- 'Barbossa nudged him' I mean impressive, wow that was great!

_They spotted a bear several miles away and with Jack's incredible yo-yo, they managed to knock the bear out. Barbossa was about to collect the water when the bear belched up a man. Everyone screamed like girls and ran around the place, knocking into trees and each other. Jack looked around, climbed up a tree and squeezed himself into a wasp hive. No surprise. Barbossa had to drag him out using a toilet plunger and a bottle of Dr. Pepper. _

Jack: you know, next time, just use rum

Barbossa: there will not be a next time

_Everyone gathered beside the bear. Barbossa took a look, giggled and started break dancing again.. Suddenly, Ragetti pointed towards the sea and started yelling crap. _

Ragetti: OMG! We've got company! I ate French toasts for breakfast today, and I drank a whole bottle full of sun-tan lotion!

Gibbs: is he mad or something?

Barbossa: No shit Sherlock

_Suddenly Holmes appeared out of nowhere._

Holmes: Oi! Stop using my name as an insult! 'Punches Barbossa'

Barbossa: Where did you come from? Go back to where you belong!

Holmes: What do mean 'go back to where you belong'? I don't even know how I got here!

Barbossa: Oh shut up

Holmes: WHAT?! How dare you tell me to shut up? How dare you tell me, Sherlock Holmes, the greatest detective of both Mars and Earth to shut up?! 'Started punching/kicking/slapping Barbossa'

_Everyone (except for Jack and Barbossa, the latter too busy fighting off the half-crazed, not sorry, fully crazed detective.) looked towards the sea. Jack looked in the opposite direction. _

Jack: Where?

Ragetti: look towards the sea, you retard

Jack: Huh?

Barbossa: 'with numerous cuts punch marks ' OMG! Is that free sun-tan lotion out there?

Jack: WHERE!? 'Tramped over Barbossa to get to the sea first'

Barbossa: I am gonna murder this ohmygodIlovemenwhocandrinksoupwithhiseyeball guy.

Holmes: Yeah, you bet

Barbossa: shut up, cockroach

Holmes: OMG! You called me a cockroach! 'Starts punching Barbossa again'

Barbossa: OW! Stop it! EEEOOOW! What the 'beep' is wrong with you?! Someone help me!

Jack: no, sorry mate


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own PoTC

Chapter 16

_Everyone who had being on sucker-island were suckers now, and did I mention that they were suckers? Yeah, I did mention that they were indeed the sucker-est of the suckers, and they all sucks. Okay, I'll stop it now, don't hurt me. Anyway, the suckers were rounded up on the Black Pearl and Barbossa, having gotten rid of Holmes got rounded up too. They all stood in a small group on the Pearl, looking happy and cheerful, that is, until Sao Feng appeared with his pet python Monty-oops, sorry, that was a different version. Yeah, anyway, they were all looking shocked and shocked. Barbossa was trying hard to look brave but failed. Sao Feng appeared with his pet cucumber Mike on a leash._

Sao Feng: So! What do we have here, Mike?

Mike The Cucumber: 'stays silent'

Sao Feng: What? Speak louder so that I can hear you!

Mike The Cucumber: 'still stays silent'

Sao Feng: 'sighs' never mind

Barbossa: What is this, is this some kind of joke?

Sao Feng: No, sorry, April Fools' long over

Jack: Did you say rum?

Sao Feng: shut up

Will: 'appearing out of nowhere' BOOO!

_Everyone who is sane wet their pants, which does not include Will, Elizabeth, Barbossa, Jack and Gibbs. Will had another laughing fit on the Pearl and caused forty nine thousand frogs to rain down from the sky. _

Sao Feng: 'ignoring the frogs' so, what now?

Pause

Will: Um, err, get off the ship! Yeah!

Sao Feng: um…….no?

Will: Argh! Just do what I say since I forgot the script, or more like the authoress forgot the script

Sao Feng: yeah, anyway, you heard what CAPTAIN TURNER said, do what he said! 'Giggles for no reason'

Jack: CAPTAIN TURNER?! That boy's got brains to be a captain?

Sao Feng: Yeah, well, the captain's gotta suffer though

Jack: OMG! Will! Thanks mate for being my substitute

Sao Feng: shut up, your next

Jack: Did nobody came to save me because they loved me and missed me? No one? Oh lord, I am so hurt

Barbossa: Don't start your nonsense here, Jack

Gibbs: actually, I did 'mutters under his breath' not

Marty: Yeah, me too

Cotton's parrot: your are a stupid prairie dog

Jack: I will take that as a yes, and I am standing there with them

Sao Feng: Wait, there is an old friend whom you gotta meet, and I will skip the punching-eunuch-Will-in-the-stomach-scene, gosh, Mike's gonna go crazy at another sight of you, Barbie

Barbossa: the cucumber has eyes?

Pause

Sao Feng: good question, and the answer is, I don't know that myself

Barbossa: You are hopeless

Sao Feng: yeah, whatever

_Jack was brought into a large, room with glittery, pink wallpapers and kitten ornaments in every single corner of the room. In the middle of the room, there was a large table and a large chair with thirty tiny stools heaped on it. Jack heard a cough, looked around and saw nothing. _

Beckett: Hello, Mr. Sparrow

Jack: huh? Is it you, Rock?

Beckett: no, look down

Jack: 'looks down' oh! Hey! Beckett! It's nice seeing you again!

Beckett: Shut up. You see, you are a sucker, and there is no use keeping you on the planet. Oh, how I wish to skin you alive and put you on display in the Port Royal Museum of Suckers.

Pause

Jack: Um, there is such a Museum?

Beckett: gosh, I need to work on my lying skills

Jack: yeah, you bet

Beckett: 'starts crapping around like nobody's business' I met Johnny Depp today and he is wearing this cool suit! Oh how I love the cool suit! Mr. Cabbage-Man lives right next to me, and we had tea last night! Prairie dogs are cute, and they are so chewy; they chew rum! Isn't that cute? Davy Jones' got a hundred and fifty cell phone chargers, he collects them and empty cracker packages, and he is crazy. I ate three thousand bananas for breakfast today plus fifty apple pies from McDonald's…………………….

Jack: 'starts looking around for the heart' yeah, cool, good for you

Beckett: …………..I stepped on the broccoli and it went "BABOOOOOOM!!"……………………

Jack: whatever 'continued looking for the heart'

Beckett: ………………and I love high heels. It is not here, Jack

Jack: What, the high heels?

Beckett: No, the heart, you looser

Jack: Look, give me the heart and let me get out, I will give you three pineapple pies

Beckett: no

Jack: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?

Beckett: No, unless you challenge me to a round of crapping

Jack: Okay

_So for the rest of the four hours, they crapped around, talking random staff about cabbages, light bulbs, Barbossa, algebra, Newton, Barbossa again, compasses, remote controls and tomatoes. _


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

_Finally, after three rounds of crapping, Beckett lost and he took out a gun, which he threw over to Jack, in return, Jack threw the compass at Beckett and hit him on the nose. Beckett was thrown backward from the impact. He opened the compass and stared at Jack. _

Beckett: do you know what your compass is pointing to?

Jack: Yes, yourself

Beckett: darn, you are good

Jack: Now it is pointing at me

Beckett: How do you know?

Jack: 'grinning evilly' I installed a camera on your hat, Beckett, it is telling me mentally where the needle is pointing to right now.

Beckett: don't get the image wrong, I don't like you, I like you dead

Jack: So that you can put me on display in the Port Royal museum of suckers?

Beckett: yeah…NO! I mean no! so that I can take over the sea and get my reveng which I should have gotten three years ago

Jack: uh-huh?

_Meanwhile, the crew gathered on the Black Pearl was having a fierce negotiation. Barbossa had convinced Sao Feng in some ways that Elizabeth is Calypso and promised to give her to Sao Feng. Being the nut-head he is, Sao Feng believed him and decided to keep Elizabeth in return of letting go of the crew of the Black Pearl. Back to the pink, sparkly cabin. _

Beckett: prepare to die! Muahahahaha! 'Wiped out a feather duster from his pocket, which he had amazing stuffed it there'

Jack: Oo

_Suddenly, as Beckett was about to tickle Jack with his feather duster (it is pink, by the way) the whole cabin got blown apart by a canary fired from the Black Pearl. Jack sashayed out of the door and almost got skoshed by two dudes with guns. He got onto the deck of the Endeavour to find the crew members fighting among themselves with rubber duckies and shower cap. He narrowly avoided getting hit by a rubber ducky and proceeded to do this rope tying thing to a cannon. He threw the other end over and put the mini-Beckett model at the mouth of the cannon. Just then, Beckett showed up._

Beckett: you are mad, crazy and stupid! 'Spotted his own model' NOOO! Not Mini-Me! 'Starts crying'

Jack: Yeah, if not, this would not work, so long, sucker 'lit the cannon'

_The cannon blasted the crap out of Beckett and swung Jack over to the Black Pearl. He flew around and finally, went through a sail and landed on the poop-deck. The sail now has a Jack shape hole in it. _

Barbossa: where did the sucker go?

Elizabeth: Yay! He's gone!

Jack: not so fast, love, I am still here!

Will: aw! Too bad you are

Jack: 'looking at Will' take this stupid, idiotic, crazy, selfish, bimbo, mean, horrible, vegetable………………(started verbally abuse Will in five different languages for three hours)……………………………………horrendous scumbag into the brig.

Holmes: 'climbing up from the side of the Black Pearl' Yo! Did anyone see my magnifying glass?

_Again, everyone who is sane got scared out of their wits. _

Barbossa: Not you again!

Holmes: Yes, me again

Jack: Who the heck are you?

Holmes: You mean you don't know?

Jack: Err….no

Holmes: OMG! How could you not know me? 'Started beating Jack up'

**After three hours…………………………………….**

**In the brig……….**

Holmes: Hey, wanna play go fish?

Will: Shut up, and no

Holmes: Come on! Watson always plays go fish with me

Will: I said shut up!

Holmes: you guys are crazy

Will: You can say that to Jack, not me

Holmes: Yeah, whatever

Pause

Holmes: wanna hear a story?

Will: NO

Another pause

Holmes: do you know how can we get out of here?

Will: NOO! Leave me alone

Holmes: wow, you're a scary girl I mean guy to talk to

Will: Look, if you don't shut up right now, I am going to blow your brains out

A thirty second of silence…..

Holmes: I've got a story to tell!

Will: CAN SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE?!


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

_Meanwhile, on board the Empress, Sao Feng and his pet cucumber Mike was reciting nursery rhythms and scaring the crap out of Elizabeth. Sao Feng tried to do a hair-flip but failed because he forgot that he had not hair. Elizabeth was dressed in a rather Chinese like costume with jades and everything hanging off from her. The two Chinese girls who were helping her with her costumes were in Speedos and potato peels._

Sao Feng: 'comes in' okay, now you can get out of here 'claps hands'

Chinese girls: 'pouts'

Sao Feng: go now, or I will tell Mike to kick you out

Elizabeth: 'tries not to laugh'

Sao Feng: 'started crapping around like nobody's business' you are so hot Elizabeth, I wish I am Will damn I am so jealous of that eunuch. I had to fight off a couple of nail-clippers and stapler yesterday in order to rescue a girl whom I thought was sweet, but in the end she turned out to be my mom, so I ran away and now I am here. Pineapples have spines and chocolate are good for your brains. Gosh, I don't know why I am talking crap but since the authoress wants it to be that way then so be it. I hate monkey in pants and I just got Orlando Bloom's autograph yesterday! He looks a bit like the eunuch, maybe a lot but I don't care. Jack Davenport is acting in Harry potter and the half blood prince I bet he is one of the death eaters but I don't care either. I love cucumber, especially Mike……………………………… (An hour later)………….and the parrot pooped on me! I peed watching Gladiator……………………………….. (Two hours and seventeen minutes later) ……………………..and I love party hats!

Elizabeth: are you finished?

Sao Feng: No

Elizabeth: aw crap

Sao Feng: 'continued crapping like nobody's business' I hate ice poops, I mean ice pops, and I scrub my beard three times a minute, isn't that great? Tissue papers are black, or maybe I am color-blind, but I don't care. I love the actor playing Sweeny Todd, he is so cute. Although I, too, peed watching Sweeny Todd, I still think that it is a nice movie. I love fairies and puppy dogs, Beckett is so cute, he is so short, like a little under-grown gorilla with no hair……………………

Elizabeth: 'thinking' I am gonna kick his-

Sao Feng: ………………..and I wore my tie for the end of year concert……………………

_While Sao Feng crapped around, the Flying Dutchman blasted the intestines out of the Empress, killing Sao Feng and putting everyone out of their misery. Before he died, however, Sao Feng gave his bright pink water bottle to Elizabeth, making her the Singapore Pirate Lord. At this very moment, TH chose to come down the stairs and into the intestines of the Empress. _

TH: OMG! Sao Feng! My lover! My- 'Realizes that Elizabeth was standing there'

Elizabeth: what the-

TH: he made you pirate lord?

Elizabeth: 'balancing the bottle on her head' yeah, I suppose so

TH: OMG! NOOOOO! 'Started running around, knocking everything off the shelves which was not many, yelling and pulling out his hair'

Elizabeth: You know, you need therapy

_TH ran around screaming and giggling. He dashed out of the room and straight into a navy officer. Elizabeth followed him but found herself, too, captured with a rubber mouse pointing at her neck. Just then, the forever-hot James Norrington appeared out of nowhere. _

Norrington: Elizabeth? 'Sniggers for no reason'

Elizabeth: OMG! James! What are you doing here? Are you a pirate?

Norrington: no!

Pause

Norrington: Am I suppose to hug you?

Elizabeth: yeah, please do

Norrington: no

Elizabeth: the authoress can make you dance the chicken dance with nothing on but a Speedo

Norrington: urgh, fine 'hugs Elizabeth' EW! I need to boil my clothes!

Davy Jones: 'also appearing out of nowhere' which one of you named yerself as captain?

TH: Her! 'Points at Norrington'

Davy Jones: huh? 'Looks at Norrington' you don't look like a 'her' to me

Norrington: I am the admiral, for heaven's sake

Davy Jones: We have an admiral?

Norrington: …

Davy Jones: Never mind, lock them in the brig

Norrington: The captain shall have my quarters

Elizabeth: no

Norrington: Fine, I don't like you anyway

Elizabeth: Sucker

Norrington: Yeah, that's me


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

_Meanwhile, Will had finally broken out of the brig with a pair of ear-rings and an iPod. He tried to lock Holmes back but failed. So Will had to put up with Holmes' crapping while leaving a trail of bodies for Beckett to follow. He was using the porcupine spine that his father had given to him to tie knots. _

Holmes: ………..so I had to carry the cat all the way to the vet by myself!

Will: Yeah, sucks for you

Holmes: hey, I don't wish to offend anyone but you seem to like that girl. What is her name, is it E-lizard?

Will: close

Holmes: oh, cool, great. Do you love her?

Will: Don't ask

Holmes: Aw, come on! I just wanna know!

Will: Shut up

Holmes: But-

Will: look, you ARE offending me

Holmes: oh, sorry

Pause

Holmes: wanna hear a story?

Will: NO! SHUT UP!

Pause

Holmes: How about a joke?

Will: no

Holmes: I shall tell it anyway. What is scary and scare the crap out of people?

Will: yeah, you and your crapping

Holmes: Ha-ha, very funny

Will: shut up

Holmes: wanna know the answer? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Will: Whatever

Holmes: Davy Jones

Will: yeah, great, cool, now you can shut up

_At this moment, Jack chose the moment to appear on the sail. _

Jack: hey, whelp! The hamster is out of its cage

Will: uh-huh?

Jack: thinking about running away?

Will: Yeah, sounds great

Jack: look, I am gonna stab the heart, so don't stress yourself

Holmes: What heart?

Jack: 'sarcastically' your heart

Holmes: OMG! Murderer! 'Started running around and killing off algae and whatever little insects they have on board of the ship'

Jack: 'ignoring Holmes' look, William, you are sucker, and there is no use talking to you about anything alright? So go away.

Will: You are gonna stab the heart and grow pony-tails like Davy Jones? I can braid flowers in them, Jack

Jack: yuck, flowers are not my type

Will: Or you can grow barnacles, not my problem

Jack: barnacles sound nice

Will: you're hopeless

Jack: thanks mate

_Jack whipped out a large egg-beater and scared the crap out of Will. He pushed Will into the water and made faces at him. _

Will: sucker

Jack: 'pushing a body into the water' here you go, your pillow for the night

Will: Ew

Jack: Well, considering that fact that you are a sucker, there is not much options, is there?

Will: Yeah, anything 'paused, looked carefully and realized that it was a body. He started screaming and yelling at Jack'

Will: OMG! JACK! GET ME OUT! OR GET IT OUT! EITHER ONE! PLEASE! JACK! I FEEL COLD! I FEEL DEAD! I AM GONNA DIE! JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

Jack: 'turning away from the screaming Will' phew, so far so good

Holmes: Hi!

Jack: Oh no, not you again

Holmes: Yes, me again

Jack: What?

Holmes: Wanna play go fish?

Jack: What's with the go fish?

Holmes: Do you wanna play go fish?

Jack: um………..no

Holmes: You guys are a bunch of party poopers

Jack: We are not at a party, Mr. Go-fish

Holmes: whatever

Jack: Go away

Holmes: go where?

Jack: Go………….anywhere

Holmes: fine, I will just have to follow you around then

Jack: stop behaving like the rock in 8 chapter

Holmes: What rock?

Jack: Never mind


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

_Meanwhile, Beckett and his group of suckers were sailing around the sea, having no intention to go anywhere. Many of his crew members were complaining at not being able to go back home in time to watch television. Beckett don't mind, of course. He was taking a stroll on the deck of the Endeavour when he spotted the bodies. _

Beckett: OMG! MUMMY! 'Leaped onto Groves like Scooby Doo'

Groves: ewww, get off

Beckett: 'clinging onto him' no!

Groves: my lord, you are causing a scene around here

Beckett: I don't care! Somebody cover my eyes!

Groves: sucks for you

_Basically nobody cared about Beckett and they heaved the body onto the Endeavour. Beckett jumped off Groves in fright and climbed all the way up to the Crow's nest at an amazing speed of 1900metres per second. They could not get him off. In the end, Groves suggested that they saw off the top sail and that was when Beckett admitted defeat and climbed down. _

Beckett: What does this mean?

Random sailor: What does what means?

Beckett; I meant these bodies

Random Sailor: I think they are meant for us to follow

Beckett: oh

Groves: a betrayer among them

Beckett: That was my line, Sherlock

Groves: Fine! Do as you please! 'Stomps away'

Beckett: 'chuckles and stepped onto the body' OMG! MUMMY!!

_Beckett climbed all the way to the crow's nest again at an even more amazing speed of 1991metres per second._


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

_Meanwhile, the crew of the Black Pearl including the ship itself was sailing through very nice, crystal clear water towards the ship-wrecked island. Jack had to destroy the nice environment by spilling large gunny sacks of fish food into the water. All the fishes ate all the food and ended up dead due to over-eating. Jack, being the Meany-face he is ignored the fact. Barbossa, however, was sight-seeing and he began to beat the crap out of Jack for destroying the marine life. _

Barbossa: My poor fishes!

Jack: they are yours?

Barbossa: No

Jack: Then?

Barbossa: Never mind

Tia Dalma: you guys suck!

Barbossa: Yeah, you do too, miss fish

Tia Dalma: actually, it is Mrs.

Pause

Barbossa: Oh my cucumbers, you mean you and Davy Jones did…..that?

Tia Dalma: did what?

Barbossa: You know…..that?

Tia Dalma: Did what?

Barbossa: It is a T-rated story

Tia Dalma: I don't care, I can say that really rude word. F-

Jack: OMG! We are here!

Barbossa: you don't have to shout

Jack: She is going to say that you-know-what word

Barbossa: You-know-who?

Pintel: voldemort?

Tia Dalma: you guys are hopeless

Barbossa: Yeah, you are too

_Tia Dalma grabbed Barbossa's hand and turned it into a salmon. _

Tia Dalma: I can turn you into a salmon and you will be fighting your way to spawn on the water fall and gets eaten by a bear.

Barbossa: Random

Tia Dalma: shut up

After an hour….

Jack: Are we there yet?

Barbossa: no, we are not

After thirty seconds………….

Jack: Are we there yet?

Barbossa: No

After five seconds…..

Jack: Are we there yet?

Barbossa: Shut up! NO!

Three seconds later…..

Jack: Are we-

Barbossa: NOOO!


	22. Chapter 22

_Very soon, much to Jack's delight, they reached Shipwreck Cove, where thousands of ships were shipwrecked. Jack was so excited that he jumped up into the air at a total of three thousand feet and knocked a satellite out of space. Barbossa had to tie him to a rock. _

Jack: OMG! I am so excited! I can eat an entire house!

Holmes: 'following Jack' you can't eat houses, it is not logical

Barbossa: Off with the logic stuff, what are you doing here?

Holmes: me? Looking for cases to solve, duh

Jack: You know what, piss off

Holmes: How can I piss off when I am all-

Barbossa: What?

Holmes: Never mind

Jack: I am irritated

Elizabeth: Yeah, we all are

_The scene cut to the pirates fighting over a tissue, in the end, Barbossa ended the fight by burning the tissue, shoot it, feed it to sharks, hung it, and shot it again. Everyone went quiet. _

Barbossa: Thank you! Now, let us start this peaceful (The Pirate Lord of French blew the head of an Indian pirate lord's assistant off) negotiation, or meeting, whatever or I will do the same to you like I did to that piece of tisue. First, I need all the pieces of junk-no, sorry, present your pieces of eights.

_All the pirates took out junk, like anvils, prairie dogs (Jack squealed in delight at the sight of the prairie dog), GPS trackers, sport shoes, note pads, jump ropes, and even a used cell-phone. Soon, everyone had presented their pieces of "eights" except Jack. _

Random Pirate lord: OI! Jack sparrow! Where's your piece of eights?

Jack: um, I left it on the Pearl

Holmes: No, he has it with him all the time! Look! 'Points to Jack's coin on his head'

Jack: You are a spoiler

Barbossa: Yeah, true enough

Jack: No seriously, and Sao Feng is not here yet

Elizabeth: 'appearing out of nowhere' Sao Feng is dead!

_Everyone gasped, some flung forks at her, and one of them hit Jack instead. _

Jack: ouchy!

Pause

Barbossa: ouchy?

Elizabeth: Yeah, cool. Look, someone sold us out to the Royal Navy, and they are on their way here!

Jack: So?

Random Pirate lord: one of us betrayed us all! 'Started dancing the robot to prove his point'

_Everyone stared at Holmes. _

Holmes: what? Why am I always the one to get blamed?

Jack: Welcome to the pirate world, miss

Holmes: Miss? 'Looks outraged'

Barbossa: That 'one of us' is not likely to be among us

Elizabeth: OMG! Where's Willy Will?

Jack: Somewhere betraying us and dancing wearing nothing but a Speedo

Elizabeth: oh lord, why can't he dance it here?

Jack: So can you marry me now?

Elizabeth: no


	23. Chapter 23

I do not own PoTC

Chapter 23:

_Meanwhile, the Brethren court was having a rather fierce argument over Beckett and his tea-cups. Barbossa said this very rude word and the other pirate lords threw anvils at him. _

Italy Pirate Lord: We should cut him up!

Jack: Yeah! Feed him to sharks and shot him, like what he did to that piece of tissue.

Holmes: What about the tissue?

Elizabeth: You shut up

Barbossa: I am just trying to propose a-

Jack: OMG! Barbossa! Who would want to have something to do with you?

Barbossa: Don't fret, I have fan-girls, you know?

Jack: No, I don't

Barbossa: Shut up. I meant that we stay quiet and hide away from the Shortie and disappear forever and last but not least, set Calypso free.

Pirate lords: How is that possible?

Barbossa: always think of an idea and develop the plan later

_Everyone's brain sizzled up by thinking too hard._

Jack: you know, I hate to insult anyone but you, Barbossa, are not making any sense at all

Barbossa: I never would, but if you have any idea at all besides hiding in wasp hives?

Jack: Dang, I was about to suggest that

Barbossa: thanks

Jack: Anyway, I love prairie dogs, and they are cute! Let's all be cute! Can we assume that Calypso is none other than a woman who had too much rum? No, we can't. There is no other way than to, well, what captain Swann had said: We must fight

Barbossa: You always run away from a fight to hide in Wasp Hives

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

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Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

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Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: Do not!

Barbossa: Do to!

Jack: DO NOT!

Mistress Ching: And if you gentlemen don't mind me budging in, any forms of war are to be decided by the Pirate pie, no, sorry, Pirate King

Jack: we have a king

Pirate lords: We do?

Jack: Yeah, me

_Within the next few milli-seconds, Jack was covered head from toe in tomatoes and eggs. _

Jack: wow, that's a lot of food

_Sadly, or shall I say fortunately in Jack's case, the food attracted three hundred thousand prairie dogs who came rushing and squeaking towards Jack. As Jack was buried under a mountain of prairie dogs, Jack's father, Captain Teague arrived with a Fujitsu Tablet PC._

Captain Teague: Yo! Guys! Where's my son?

Everyone: 'points to the mountain of prairie dogs'

Captain Teague: is it my eyes or did he seem so….furry?

_Someone handed Captain Teague his glasses._

Captain Teague: Oh, prairie dogs. Anyway, here's the code, no wars can be carried out if the pirate king is murdered, assassinated, smothered, choked, disemboweled, stoned, drowned, otherwise mutilated past the point of recognition, burnt to a crisp, dragged by a horse, decapitated by blunt objects, thrown off a cliff, eaten by rabid monkeys, having seizures/concussions/pencils to the eye/pineapples to the groin etc. random blood clots, ring worms, heart worms, fleas, self-explosions, death due to crapping, heart attack, lung cancer, over reacting and last but not least, trampled to death by prairie dogs 'Looked at Jack under the prairie dogs'

Pause

Elizabeth: um…..what's all that?

Captain Teague: Shut up, young lady

Barbossa: So shall we call for a vote?

Jack: 'from under the pile of prairie dogs' you know, you are wasting precious time, just GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Holmes: Just shoo them away

Jack: you, shut up

Holmes: oh well

_Then Holmes whipped out a dynamite from his pocket and lit it before throwing it into the pile of Prairie-dogs-and-Jack-stew, 'accidentally' forgetting that Jack was underneath it. The whole pile blew up, turning all the Prairie dogs into fur purse and coat. It also turned Jack into Jack-and-chips, which, sadly, lacked chili ketchup._


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

_Meanwhile, while everyone tried to patch Jack back up into a human shape, Tia Dalma was having a candle-light dinner with a prairie dog._

Tia Dalma: You know, I love furry things

Prairie dog: So?

Tia Dalma: Well, do you like shiny things?

Prairie dog: Yeah, kinda

Tia Dalma: look! 'Took out music box'

_The music box started playing the sad song, and the prairie dog, which was named James (kinda familiar). _

Davy Jones: 'appearing out of nowhere' wazzup yo!

Tia Dalma: hi……. 'Looks carefully' OMG! Jones!

Davy Jones: Yep, that's me

Tia Dalma: you stupid one eyed Prairie dog!

James: hey!

Davy Jones: call me Barnacle, I don't mind

Tia Dalma: I love sea food

Davy Jones: ...

Tia Dalma: Especially crab claws and squid

Davy Jones: 'breaking into cold sweat' um….

Tia Dalma: And I love squids that can walk on land

Davy Jones: And to think that I loved you

Tia Dalma: I wish

_Davy Jones was ticked; he grabbed Tia Dalma's hair and pulled a chunk off. Looking embarrassed, he used super glue and glued the lump back. _

Davy Jones: Well?

Tia Dalma: What?

Davy Jones: What what?

Tia Dalma: What?

Davy Jones: stop it

Tia Dalma: Yeah, that's for you

Pause

Davy Jones: Wow

Tia Dalma: So you love me?

Davy Jones: More than you love yourself

Pause

Tia Dalma: Wow

_Note: I skipped the part when James (not the prairie dog) got killed because there was no joke about that. Sorry! Funnier chapters coming right up; this one was done in a rush, not much details, but still……R and R. _


	25. Chapter 25

_Chapter 25_

_I do not own PoTC._

_Meanwhile, the pirate lords were still trying to put Jack back together again. They tried stitching him back but it failed, so they turned to duct tape instead. They put him back together again like a piece of jig-saw puzzle but since they were pirates, they naturally sucked at it. Holmes was able to piece Jack back up again in three milli-seconds but he refused to help because he just refuses to do so. No arguments about that. After three agonizing hours of taping, Jack looked more……………err………….handsome then he originally was. His left arm was where his nose used to be and the latter was on top of his head. His right leg was substituted by a stool leg because it had 'mysteriously' gone missing. His eyes were at his neck and there was hair coming out of his…...behind. _

Pintel: Wow, you look great, Jack 'sniggers'

Gibbs: you know, if not for the stool leg, you would be complete, which sets me thinking, where did your right leg go?

Holmes: 'whistles innocently'

Elizabeth: you know, I think you look better this way than before

Jack: geez, thanks

Barbossa: So, back to topic, shall we call for a vote?

Pirate lords: no

Elizabeth: Yes

Jack: yep

Barbossa: that's two against, um 'started counting fingers' two against five!

Holmes: it is two against seven, you retard

Barbossa: No, five!

Holmes: Seven!

Barbossa: Shut up, you slimy cockroach

Holmes: ….

Barbossa: So shall we call for a vote?

Pirate lord: fine

_The pirates started voting._

French Pirate lord: I vote for the French Retard with a money sack that leaks like…I dunno.

Holmes: oh, wow

Italy pirate lord: I vote for me, the fabulous and terrific Italian dancer

Holmes: Shouldn't you be at a strip club?

Chinese pirate lord: I vote for Mistress Chips. No, Chipmunk? No. Computer? No. Anyway, my name starts with the letter C

Holmes: You obviously dropped out of school in first grade

Barbossa: Barbossa votes for Barbossa, the ever so awesomely awesome and awesome pirate lord of…..awesome

Holmes: your range of words is about as wide as the radius of a hair

India Pirate lord: Sisoombaji votes for Sisoombaji 'started break dancing'

Holmes: You can join the Italy strip dancer

Elizabeth: I vote for the beautiful and charming Elizabeth Swanno

Holmes: Yeah, you know, go join the local hookers

Jack: I vote for the local hooke- I mean Elizabeth Swann

Holmes: wow

Barbossa: why must you have so many comments?

Holmes: what?

Barbossa: why must you have so many comments?

Holmes: WHAT? Can't hear you

Barbossa: WHY MUST YOU-

Holmes: sorry, speak louder next time

Barbossa: you know, I am so gonna-

Holmes: LAH LAH LAH LAH! Can't hear you!

Elizabeth: So that means I won?

Captain Teague: Yeah

Jack: Sucks for the rest of you

Mistress Chip-Chipmunk-Computer: so….i suppose that we can only go to war now

Elizabeth: Prepare every ship that floats, we are at war.

Holmes: Does it include paper boats?

Elizabeth: man that was lame

Holmes: hey, wanna play yo mama?

Jack: Ooh! I love that game. Yo mama is so fat that if she stands on the weighing machine, I saw my PHONE NUMBER!

Holmes: yo mama is so fat that if she goes bungee jumping, she would bring down the whole bridge

Jack: Yo mama is so fat that if she slaps you, your whole face would be gone

Holmes: like how Watson used to make necklaces out of Cesium and he gave it to Lestrade, who foolishly wore it….on a rainy day. His whole face was like some burnt birthday cake on fire.

_Yay! R and R. Oh, and for those who does not know Cesium is, it is basically an element under the group alkaline earth metals. It was so reactive when in contact with water that when a single piece of it was dropped into a glass tank, the whole tank exploded. Imagine the tank was Lestrade's face. _


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

_As the scene appears, we can see the pirate ships neatly lined up in rows with the Black Pearl in lead. There was ominous music playing but Jack and Holmes had to ruin it through a challenge of 'Yo mama'. _

Jack: Yo mama is so fat that people jog around her for exercise

Holmes: Yo mama is so fat that when she plays hopscotch, she made seven large holes on the ground

Jack: Yo mama is so fat that if she falls through the hole in the ozone layer, she would get stuck

Holmes: Wow, that's a good one

Elizabeth: Will you two shut up? You are ruining the scene here

Jack: Shut up, lizard

Holmes: You know, I need to buy a leash for my magnifying glass, it just kept disappearing!

Barbossa: people like you just don't know how to take care of your things

Holmes: Yeah, people like me have fan girls

_Everyone turned to look at Holmes with that shocked look._

Holmes: What? Isn't that normal?

Elizabeth: no, it is not normal

Holmes: Meanie

Elizabeth: lamo

Jack: Jack

_Something caught the attention of everyone well no one can NOT notice three hundred over ships sailing towards them, can they? Cotton's parrot was so frightened that it pissed on everyone and flew away, smacking right into the Endeavour and died due to the overwhelming smell of tea. _

Elizabeth: Holy sh-

Jack: Oh my F

Barbossa: juggling lizard!

Holmes: Where's my pipe?

Elizabeth: random much?

_Well, at least the pirate's got brains to know that they cannot fight the three hundred over ships with their dingy so the top three, Elizabeth, Barbossa and Jack went onto this small patch of sand to negotiate with Beckett and his cliché. _

Elizabeth: Yoz, Beckett!

Beckett: hi, miss lizard

Elizabeth: lizard?

Will: Hi, guys

Jack: Will!

Elizabeth: Will!

Barbossa: Beckett!

Jones: Barbossa!

Elizabeth: Beckett!

Jack: Jones!

Will: Jack!

Beckett: Norrington!

Elizabeth: random much?

Beckett: it is your choice, tell your faithful brethren court that the war is gonna be fruit-less, so it is better to surrender now so that-

Jack: you can put us up on display at the Port Royal Museum of Suckers?

Beckett: Yeah

Pause

Beckett: I mean NO!

Elizabeth: ooo-kay?

Barbossa: I request an exchange

Beckett: oh, you mean Singapore currency for British currency?

Barbossa: No, sucker, I meant exchanging Jack for Will

Will: Why? Is it because you love me too much? Or…OH! I get it! I am hotter than Jack

Elizabeth: NO! Jack is waaaaaaaay hotter than you

Will: Lizzie!

Elizabeth: Hi

Barbossa: And may I hasten to add that Jack's face stinks so he can join Mr. Scary face over there

Jack: Geez, thanks, that made me feel soooo much better

Holmes: 'suddenly appearing' BOO!

_Everyone got scared out of their wits_

Will: You!

Holmes: me!

Elizabeth: Where did you come from?

Holmes: Like where all humans come from?

Jack: Where?

Holmes: Okay, you know, when a man meets a woman-

Will: Not THAT talk again! 'Started dancing the worm, making Jack drool'

Barbossa: Shut up 'suddenly self-exploded'

Elizabeth: You outta stop that sudden-appearing thing

Holmes: Why?

Elizabeth: 'CUZ THAT'S LIKE SO IRRITATING!

Holmes: oh

Pause

Holmes: Why?

Elizabeth: You irritate me

Holmes: Why? 'Started flinging Beckett with cheerios'

Elizabeth: With all your nonsense

Pause

Holmes: Ah


	27. Chapter 27

_Back at the Pearl, Elizabeth tried to boost everyone's enthusiasm but all she achieved was the disappearance of one third of her original army. In the end, she resorted to climbing up to the crow's nest and with the use of a microphone. _

Elizabeth: Yo! Everyone we are pirates!

Random pirates: Are we not?

Holmes: Hey! I am not

Elizabeth: nobody asked you

Holmes: But you did not exclude me in your speech either

Elizabeth: Shut up

Barbossa: lizard, hurry up

Elizabeth: so we should fight! Since we have nothing else to die for

Will: but Elizabeth! What about us?

Elizabeth: What about us what?

Will: Nothing, continue

Elizabeth: When Beckett and his suckers attack us, what would he see?

Pintel: me?

Elizabeth: no, try again

Ragetti: titration experiment on twenty percent concentrated carbonic acid and five percent concentrated sodium hydroxide with graphite as impurities?

Pause

Holmes: wow

Will: hey! You are a scientist, you should know

Holmes: Since when am I a scientist?

Will: but the books said….

Elizabeth: You read?

Pause

Will: well, no

Elizabeth: Then?

Will: I had Barney read it to me

Pause

Barbossa: wow

Elizabeth: anyway, back to me. They see strong men and woman with a will to live

Will: you guys love me so much!

Ragetti: Shut up

Elizabeth: Everyone! Hoist the colors!

_Soon, every ship was hoisting the colors. Soon, different pirate ships were being hoisted. The Black Pearl, being the only pirate ship that kept to the old tradition of the Jolly Roger hoisted the said flag. But Ragetti dropped his eye again and instead of hoisting the scary flag with a skull, he accidentally hoisted a bright pink glittery flag with the words: I am a pretty little pony on it written in gold._

Pause

Holmes: why pink?

Barbossa: I did not know that Jack's a pansy

Will: You are so blind

Barbossa: my honor

_Meanwhile, Beckett surveyed the neat line of Navy soldiers ready for battle. He approached his favorite lieutenant. _

Beckett: Tell them to return my movie tickets and my stuffed penguin

Groves: What?

Beckett: Um, I mean get ready for battle

Groves: Oi! You pack of –beep-! Get ready for the –beeping- battle! Come on! You pack of suckers! #&#&!!

Pause

Beckett: um, wow, that's a lot of colorful languages

Groves: Oops, sorry! I mean! Get ready for the battle!


	28. Chapter 28

I DO NOT OWN POTC!! hehe

Chapter 28

_I skipped the freeing calypso part 'cuz I just like to skip the part. Sorry, back to the story. Jack was locked into the brig of the Flying Dutchman. There were algae all around and before long, Jack started to act all psycho again. _

Jack: think like the whelp, think like the whelp, think like the whale, think like the wheel, think like the welt………think like the woopa-doo

Fake Jack: woopa-doo?

Jack: shut up, me

Fake Jack: That was kinda lame

Jack: You know what's lame?

Fake Jack: Oh no, what is it now?

Jack: Superman and Batman had a race, who won?

Fake Jack: um…me?

Jack: Wow, its not even close

Fake Jack: Batman? 'Cuz he's got a car?

Jack: Nope

Fake Jack: Um, because I am more awesome than you?

Jack: Fat hope, no

Fake Jack: Urgh! I give up

Jack: Superman won, 'cuz when _**Batman begins**_, _**Superman returns**_

Pause

Fake Jack: Um, wow?

_Meanwhile, the Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman were having a peaceful tea-part-sorry, wrong version. Meanwhile, the Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman were at war, shooting candy-sticks at each other and blowing the crap out of James the Prairie dog. _

Elizabeth: Barbossa! Get your useless butt here at the wheel!

Barbossa: 'sashaying over' whatever you say, miss King

_However, before he got there, he was skooshed by a candy stick._

Elizabeth: um, ouch?

Holmes: Hey! I know how to drive, I mean steer a ship!

Elizabeth: when was the last time you did that? Twenty years ago?

Holmes: Hey! I am not THAT old

Elizabeth: Shut up

_Due to the lack of men, Elizabeth let the detective do the MOST important job on the ship. In truth, Holmes do not know how to steer a ship at all, he was just trying to impress Elizabeth. The Black Pearl began to dance cha-cha, waltzed around on the whirlpool, spin round and round, did a back-flip, did a front-flip and finally did a nose-dive. All this turbulence had miraculously revived Barbossa. _

Barbossa: What the heck? 'Shoved Holmes off the ship' Sorry

Elizabeth: Finally!

Barbossa: Shut up. OI! You all! Stop standing around doing nothing! Do something! You! Turner! Stop slacking!

Will: 'playing with James the prairie dog' I am not slacking

Barbossa: stop playing with the stupid moron and help around

James: What did you call me?

Will: Don't worry; I'll get him for you

James: No, eunuch

Will: hey!


	29. Chapter 29

I do not own PoTC!

Chapter 29

_Meanwhile, in the Dutchman's brig, Jack was still entertaining the other two fake jakes with lame jokes. _

Jack: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car?

Fake Jack: Um, you suck?

Fake Jack 2: You smell like pee?

Jack: nope

Fake Jack: Do you wanna drive?

Fake Jack 2: are you dating the Joker?

Jake: urgh, no

Fake Jack: I am your father?

Pause

Jake: What the 'Beep'

Fake Jack 2: just tell us the answer, you bum

Jack: he said….. 'Robin, get into the car'

Pause

Fake Jack: I am somewhat not amused

Jack: like I care

Fake Jack: You should, we are part of you

Jack: I love irritating people

Fake Jack: We can all see that

Jack: Let's think about getting out; think of plan, you two

Fake Jack 2: Well, I've got a plan

Jack: Anything but building a plane and flying out of the brig

Fake Jack 2: I was about to suggest that

Jack: Whatever

Fake Jack: I have no plans, just staring at the hinges made up of cotton candy

Pause

Jack: WHAT?

Fake Jack: Chill! I observed that these hinges were made up of cotton candy

Jack: Good, now we can eat our way out

Fake Jack: Good for you

_Jack managed to eat his way out of the brig, good for him. However, it was not a pleasant sight outside. People were fighting, firing cannons and candy sticks at each other, massacring prairie dogs, ordering pizzas with carrots and cabbages, and above all, dancing the waltz. _

Will: This is a fun party

Elizabeth: 'ducking a cannon ball' it is not fun, you doofus

Will: hmmm 'walks around dreamily'

Elizabeth: amazingly, he did not get hit

Will: What, are you cursing me or what?

Elizabeth: nothing

Will: I got a joke to tell!

Elizabeth: aw! Crap! Now you are turning into the detective guy

Will: really? Cool!

Elizabeth: never mind


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

I DO NOT OWN POTC!! hehe

_Jack went into this basement where the two infamous dudes, Mullroy and Murtogg were guarding the chest. _

Jack: Ha! So we meet again! 'Smirks'

Mullroy: this guy gives me creeps

Murtogg: I totally agree

Jack: Scarecrow, scarecrow, scarecrow!

Mullroy: and he completely lost it

Jack: When can you stop being so serious?

Murtogg: Like I totally agree

Jack: Okay, back to business, what are you two dudes doing down here?

Murtogg: What does it look like we were doing?

Jack: um, watching The Dark Knight?

Mullroy: guess again

Jack: um, making out?

Murtogg: close

Pause

Jack: Hehe

Mullroy: perv

Jack: he said it

Murtogg: shut up, you 'beep'

Jack: did you just call me a female dog?

Murtogg: I did?

Jack: O.o

Bruce Wayne: 'appearing out of nowhere' BOO!

Everyone: OMG! 'Wet themselves'

Bruce Wayne: Hi everyone! I just decided to come here for a beach party, speaking of which, where are the party hats?

Jack: there is nothing but guns and horrible weapons

Bruce: where is my batmobile?

Jack: Your nutcase?

Bruce: you know, my totally awesome tank

Jack: tank?

Bruce: 'rolls eyes' yeah, dude

Jack: I have no idea; all I need is that chest which these two dudes are guarding

Bruce: you need more help then 'magically transformed into Batman' Swish!

Everyone: O.O

Bruce: What, you are not entertained?

Pause

Jack: nice tights

Pause

Bruce: um, thanks?

Jack: now let us get this chest!

Murtogg: Aw crap

Mullroy: Wait! You want the chest? Take it! 'Threw the chest to Jack'

Bruce: That was easy

Jack: one point for Jack, zero for the thugs 'opens chest and saw a bomb with a timer' shit

Murtogg: MWAHAHA!

Jack: one thing I am certain of is: you are down here with me as well

Pause

Murtogg: Shit

Mullroy: Shit

Bruce: Shit

Jack: Shit

Bruce: all together now

Everyone: SHIT!

_There was a wild scramble for the exit, and Murtogg and Mullroy forgot about the real chest. Jack conveniently stole right under their noses. _

Bruce: Wow that was neat

Jack: Thanks


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

I DO NOT OWN POTC!! hehe

Chapter 31

_Will looked around and decided it was best for him to propose to Elizabeth. He took out a ring from his mouth and approached Elizabeth. _

Will: OMG! Elizabeth! You are so hot!

Elizabeth: O.o

Will: Um, do you mind if you marry me?

Elizabeth: yes

Will: damn 'dodging a fish face'

Elizabeth: this is so not the time, Will

Will: I know! But…I love you!

Elizabeth: Yeah, whatever, now run along

Will: run along….where?

Elizabeth: Go away

Will: Go away, where?

Elizabeth: SHUT UP! 'Wheels around to stab Will, but was pulled into a kiss'

Elizabeth: 'five minutes later' "faints"

_Back to the Flying Dutchman; Jack and Bruce (in his Batman suit and mask) were trying to escape the basement, where the bomb was. When they reached the deck, Jack screamed._

Jack: OMG! Not more fighting

Random Fish face: Whether you like it or not, you have to fight

Jack: What if I don't?

Random Fish face: 'was about to answer but was stabbed by random soldier'

Bruce: ouch

Jack: yeah, ouch

Bruce: you need the key

Jack: Say who?

Bruce: say me

Jack: oh

Bruce: yeah, cool, keys open things, don't they?

Jack: What? I thought they were for dining?

Bruce: …

Jack: Never mind, let's fight!

_They fought each other, the fish faces, the British soldiers, each other again. Jack fought the mast for a hour before realizing his mistake. He found Bruce killing thirty British soldiers at one time. _

Jack: wow, how did you do that?

Bruce: There is an invention called the weaponised hallucinogen

Jack: that weapon-a-blah-blah?

Bruce: Never mind 'started flinging Jack with lollipops'

Jack: cool

_Back at the pearl, Will was having a hard time fighting off the fish stews and soldiers. So he decided to try a second time. _

Will: 'using a different approach' AHH! Someone help me! I am dying! Dying!! 'Grasped throat'

Elizabeth: 'who happens to be the closest' OMG WILL!

Will: 'takes out ring again' will you marry me?

Elizabeth: 'slaps him' JERK!

Will: okay, I guess that did not work either

_Back to the Dutchman (man it's starting to get confusing) Bruce accidentally dropped a bottle of his weaponised hallucinogen. Jack had to misfortune to find it. _

Jack: ooooh! Deodorant!

Bruce: NOO!

Jack: 'sprays' yuck! That was about to be the worse deodorant ever! 'got poisoned and started hallucinating. He turns around and saw an even scarier version of Davy Jones' HOLYSHITMOMMYHELPME!

Bruce: What a nutcase

Jack: 'running around' AHHHH! HELPMEANYONEGETMEOUTOFHEREORCOVERMYEYES!! 'bumped into Davy Jones'

Jones: yikes 'pukes'

Jack: 'looks up'

Bruce: 'cover ears' oh crap

_Back at the pearl…._

Barbossa: who's screaming?

Will: I think it is someone over at the Dutchman

Elizabeth: wanna bet who?

Everyone on the pearl: Jack


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

I do not own PoTC

_Meanwhile, on the Dutchman…_

Jack: Hey! That was kind of mean!

Bruce: You know, they have a point

Jack: Shut up

_Back at the Pearl….._

Barbossa: okay everyone, now for the best scene ever in all Hollywood productions! 'Make the two ships crash together, connected at the top sail'

Elizabeth: Should we be impressed?

Barbossa: Should you not?

Will: 'chewing on his hair' Hmm, hair!

Elizabeth: WILL! STOP ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT!

Will: I will if you marry me

Elizabeth: NO WAY MAN!!

Will: Oh crap

_Back at the Dutchman…._

Jack: 'grab hold of the chest and look around' Oh shit! I am surrounded by fish faces

Jones: Hello, Jack

Jack: hello, davy

Jones: Oh look! The sparrow is stuck! It can't fly! BWAHAHAH!

Jack: Um, oops? 'Steals Bruce's steam powered grapple gun' see ya 'flew onto the top sail' I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!!

Jones: what an idiot

Jack: I believe I can fly! OUCH! 'Turns around and sees Davy Jones' HOLYSHITMOMMYHELPME!!

Davy Jones: so we meet again!

Jack: I not exactly looking forward to it

_Jack and Jones sword-fight on the top sail, it is kinda amazing how these guys can balance on the not-so-thick-piece-of-sail. Whatever. Jack lost his balance and Jones grabbed the chest. _

Jones: So long, sucker! 'Realizes that Jack was hanging onto the chest'

Jack: um, hi?

Jones: 'started shaking the chest' EWW!

Jack: 'not letting go'

Jones: EW! Is that dog poo on the handle?

Jack: WTF! 'Let go'

Jones: he-he, knew he will fall for it

_Back at the pearl….._

Will: 'sees Jack' what an idiot

Elizabeth: what an idiot

Barbossa: What an idiot

Pintel: What an idiot

Ragetti: What an idiot

Bruce: 'over at the Dutchman' All together now

Everyone: WHAT AN IDIOT!

Jack: 'half dead from the fall' shut up everyone

Everyone: NO WAY MAN!

Jack: oh what the 'beep'


	33. Chapter 33

_Chapter 33 (I do not own PoTC)_

_Jack managed to be alive even after falling from such great height. You know, gravity can kill but since Jack is a main character, let him be. _

Jack: 'laying down and sees Jones' tentacle pulling the key along' Wow, a walking tentacle

Walking Tentacle: WTF! 'Slaps Jack'

Jack: Oh! A slapping tentacle 'sniggers'

WT (not Will Turner): Hey! Shouldn't you be trying to get the chest or key or either one?

Jack: No, it is more entertaining watching a slapping/walking tentacle

WT: …

_Back at the Pearl…_

Will: GOSH! ELIZABETH! Will you marry me?

Elizabeth: um, why not later?

Will: you know, I have a feeling that there might not be a later

Elizabeth: well, in that case, okay

Will: OMG! THANK YOU!!

Everyone: 'stops fighting' awwww, Congrats

Will: Thanks, everyone!

Everyone: 'goes back to fighting'

Barbossa: weird!

_Back at the Dutchman…_

Jack: 'fights'

Jones: 'fights'

Jack: 'head butts'

Jones: 'is not hurt'

Jack: oww...

_Back at the Pearl…_

Will: Barbossa! Get us married!

Barbossa: get married?

Will: Get US married!

Barbossa: why should I?

Elizabeth: I will buy you a new pair of knickers with pink rhinestones and hello kitty!

Barbossa: Okay! 'Stands on the table, or whatever it is' We have all gathered (pretty much) on this awesome occasion 'beheaded a soldier' to witness the marriage of a young couple… 'kills a fish face' and may you live happily ever after

Will: well, not so much as an awesome occasion

Barbossa: Will you just shut up and let me finish?

Will: …

Barbossa: blah blah blah so kiss now, and be done wif it, plskaythxbye..lol lol lol….Barbossa has just signed out

Everyone: 'confused'

Will: WHAT?

_On the Dutchman…_

Jack: 'punch, kick, slap'

Jones: 'is not hurt'

Jack: ow

_Back to the pearl…._

Will: 'sees Jack in pain' aww, poor Jackie

Elizabeth: go help him you freak

Will: Says who?

Elizabeth: says me

Will: but-

Elizabeth: no butts 'kicks Will all the way to the Dutchman'


	34. Chapter 34

_I do not own POTC_

_Chapter 34_

Will: 'on the Dutchman' Wow, fascinating?

Elizabeth: 'from over at the Pearl' Go help Jack, sucker!

Will: 'sees a bottle of Bruce's weaponized hallucinogen' Deodorant!

Bruce: NOOOOO! Not you too 'faints'

Will: 'sprays' yuck, that is about the worst deodorant EVER IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE FREAKING LIFE!

Bruce: and it is just about to get freakier 'faints again'

Will: 'sees scary things around him' OMG!

_Back at the Pearl…………_

Barbossa: Who's that screaming his head off?

Elizabeth: Bet it's Will

Pintel: I thought Will is the sensible one….

Ragetti: Not after being with Jack for so long

Pintel: Point taken

_Back at the Dutchman.._

_Will is so frightened by the scary images that he saw that he pulled out his sword and started fighting everything around him, until that is, he met his father. _

Will: 'sees scary Bootstrap' OMG! ZOMBIE FISH FACE!

Bootstrap: shut up, you are suppose to be the sensible person around here

Will: okay

Bootstrap: Ahem…..WHO THE HECK ARE YOU!!

Will: OOOOkay, I am officially freaked out

Bootstrap: 'started fighting Will' You are a sick looser, you know that?

Will: At least I am not the one covered in slime and barnacles

Pause

Bootstrap: Um….NO! I AM NOT COVERED IN BARNACLES!

Will: Don't you EVER look into a mirror?

Bootstrap: no, Jones smashed all of them so as to improve our self-esteem

Pause

Pause

And pause….

Will: Why do I feel sick?

Bootstrap: Because………….um……err….

Will: 'pukes over the side of the ship'

Bootstrap: yikes?


	35. Chapter 35

I do not own PoTC!

35

_Anyway, Will fought his daddy but it was mostly the other way round. _

Will: I AM YOUR SON! 'Did the worm'

Bootstrap: I'VE GOT NO SON! 'Did the robot'

Will: You do!

Bootstrap: not! 'Slashes'

Will: Arck! Child abuse!

Bootstrap: Um, wow?

Will: 'stabbed the deck with Bootstrap's knife but the blade broke off' oops?

Bootstrap: 'recognized the knife no less' WILL?!?!

Will: hi daddy

Bootstrap: Aw! Come here, baby boy, and come to daddy

Pause

Everyone: ooooookay?

Will: You know, I am some what freaked out

_Meanwhile………………_

Jack: 'slap, kick, punch'

Jones: 'is still not hurt'

Jack: OOOOOWWWWW!

_Back at the Pearl…._

Elizabeth: okay, looks like Will's got some daddy issues, so I shall go and help him 'swung over to the Dutchman' HIYA!

_They fought everywhere until Elizabeth and Will both ended up fighting Jones. _

Jones: 'backhanded Elizabeth, knocking her unconscious'

Will: You know, that's not very nice

Jones: oh, sc**w nice! 'Stabs Will'

Elizabeth: gasp!

Jack: gasp!

Pintel: gasp!

Ragetti: gasp!

Barbossa: gasp!

James Norrington from heaven above: gasp!

(Okay, let's just take a break and go to the commercials featuring Groves doing the chicken dance for three and a half hours)

Okay, back to the story

_Elizabeth screamed, fainted and screamed in her unconscious state which was quite a feat. _

Jack: 'looking at the scene' stab the heart, don't stab the heart, stab the heart, don't stab the heart……..

Elizabeth: JACK!

Jack: 'peeling petals off three hundred gazillion roses' stab the heart, don't stab the heart, stab the heart, don't stab the heart

(Another commercial featuring Gillette dancing the Egypt for fifty eight hours)

Jack: Don't stab the heart

_They let Will stab the heart, and Jones died, but not before saying something_

Jones: Bury me with my stuffed parrot 'dies'

Everyone: paranoid

Jack: we've got to leave the ship Lizzie!

Elizabeth: FREAKING HELL NO!

Jack: 'fearing for his life' pur-lease?!?!?

Elizabeth: ….

Author's note: Okay, I am really sorry, this is not as funny as the previous chapter because of Will's death, but the remaining chapters will be funnier, I promise!


	36. Chapter 36

I do not own PoTC

Chapter 36

_Jack made a parachute thingy out of the mast of the Dutchman, he grabbed Elizabeth but she would not budge, he then tried to lure her using gummy worms, finally, Jack had to resort to using a crowbar and pried her away from Will. _

Jack: Elizabeth, we need to go!

Elizabeth: NOOOO! 'Glass splinters'

Jack: PUR-LEEEEEASE!?!?!

Elizabeth: NO!

Jack: Oh to hell with it 'Grabbed Elizabeth and flew off'

Jack the monkey: OI! YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME! STUPID!

Jack: hop on

Jack the monkey: 'hopped onto the rope' Sucker

_The Dutchman sank_

Titanic from under the sea: hi, buddy, nice to meet you

Everyone: 'paranoid'

_Jack and Elizabeth and the monkey landed in the water_

Elizabeth: of all the places, you chose to land here

Jack: Sorry

_They climbed aboard the Pearl_

Barbossa: Miss King, what should we do right now?

Jack: Parley

Gibbs: Whadadad?!?!!

Jack: Parley

Bruce: 'back in his business suit' Parley?

Jack: PARLEY!

Gibbs: BUT-

Jack: SHUSH! NO MORE! PARLEY!

Bruce: I don't think they care a shit about your bloody 'parley'

_Meanwhile on the Endeavour………………………………………._

Groves: Sir, don't you think we should take action?

Beckett: What? Say that again

Groves: Shouldn't we take some form of action, sir?

Beckett: Still can't hear you

Groves: 'using a loudspeaker' SHOULDN'T WE TAKE SOME FORM OF ACTION, SIR?!?!?!

Beckett: Now there, don't have to be so loud

Groves: ….

Beckett: unload the cannons!

Crewmembers: 'started throwing the cannons over board' okay

Beckett: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! STOP! I mean: run out the guns!

Groves: sorry sir, there's only one cannon left

Beckett: dung

Groves: Wait, I know, Gillette is fond of swallowing metal things, and maybe we can get one or two guns out of him. OI! GILLETTE! YOU'RE WANTED!

Gillette: 'prancing over' what?

Groves: can you puke up a few guns for us?

Gillette: Sure

_Then Gillette puked up…not one, not two, not a few, but a hundred and four cannons. _

Beckett: WTF!!!!!

Groves: on the bright side, we have more then enough guns to blow the crap out of them

Beckett: 'staying away from Gillette' yeah, perfectly so

_Few minutes later….._

Gillette: um, guys?

Groves: RUN OUT THE GUNS!

Gillette: I think I need to puke up something……huge

Groves: GET READY TO FIRE ON MY COMMAND!

Gillette: Theodore! Stay away from me!

Groves: 'not listening' I WLL GIVE THE SIGNAL WHEN IT'S TIME TO-

Gillette: 'puked up a whale and guess what, Groves' squashed beneath it' oops, sorry Theo, indigestion

Groves: 'from beneath the whale' I don't want to know

_Back at the Pearl……………_

Jack: Hey! Look! They've got a whale on board! 'Sniggers'

_Authoress's note: Sorry, but I like to add some Groves/Gillette humor into this chapter_


	37. Chapter 37

I do not own AWE

Chapter 37

_On board the Pearl…………._

Barbossa: 'had to pick his jaw up from the ground' wowowowowow

Elizabeth: Can we panic now?

Barbossa: Um, yeah, I suppose so

_Just then, the Flying Dutchman appeared dramatically above the surface of the water, Beckett giggled for no reason_

Beckett: YES! GO ME!

_However, being blind, Beckett did no see that the Dutchman was captained by Will while everyone else did_

Groves: Um, sir?

Beckett: I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD NOW!

Groves: sir?

Beckett: Hush, Groves, let me celebrate first

Groves: 'slightly panicky' Sir?!?!

Beckett: YAY! GO BECKETT! GO BECKETT! WOOHOO! YAY ME!

Groves: TURNER IS THE CAPTAIN OF THE FLYING DUTCHMAN, SIR!

Beckett: 'sees Will' shit

_On board the pearl……….._

Ragetti: Turner! That boy's got brains to be a captain?!?

_On board the Dutchman…._

Will: OI! I can hear you, you know?

Elizabeth: Will is captain! Why am I so surprise?

Will: I heard that one too

Barbossa: I'll rather Marty be the Dutchman's captain

Will: I take that as an insult

Barbossa: That IS an insult, stupid

Will: …

_So the two ships, the pearl and the Dutchman turned around and sailed towards the Endeavour. _

Groves: Shit

Beckett: 'stunned' I like bunnies

Groves: sir?

Beckett: I like bunnies

Groves: Sir, let's kick some asses!

Beckett: Shut up, Holmes, and let me finish

Groves: Who the heck is Holmes?

_On board the Pearl……_

Barbossa: ooooooh, Beckett, you are THIS close to death now 'presses his hands together'

Ragetti: We are so gonna get you!

_On board the Dutchman…_

Random pirate: Teletubbies are colorful

_On board the Endeavour…._

Groves: Um, Sir?

Beckett: 'stunned' I am so dead

Groves: You are not NOW! Keep staring and you will be!

Beckett: I am going to be an angel! 'Giggles'

Groves: 'slaps forehead' we are screwed

Beckett: Pretty much

Groves: I have an idea, sir, can we abandon ship?

Beckett: calculator

Pause

Groves: Um, sir?

_On board the Dutchman.._

Will: PREPARE TO FIRE!

Random pirate: Fire what?

Will: Fire the canons, stupid, with a will! NO NO NO!!!! STOP! PUT ME DOWN, YOU BUNCH OF MORONS! NOOOO! STOP STUFFING ME IN THE CANON! I AM THE CAPTAIN, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

_On board the Pearl…_

Elizabeth: Load the canons! With a will!

Pintel: But Will's over at the Dutchman!

Elizabeth: …

_Anyway, both ships managed to get the message across, so they trapped the Endeavour in the middle. _

Groves: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh crap

Beckett: _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…_

Groves: SIR! ORDERS! SIR!

Beckett: _you make me happy.._

_On board the Pearl…_

Elizabeth: FIRE!

Barbossa: THERE'S A FIRE?!!? 'Runs around like a head less chicken'

Elizabeth: NO! FIRE THE CANONS!

Crew: okay

_On board the Dutchman…._

Will: FIRE!

Random pirate: THERE'S A FIRE?!?!

Will: I AM TALKING ABOUT THE CANONS! IDIOT!

_On board the Endeavour…_

Groves: SIR! IF YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING, WE ARE GONNA BE BREAD CRUMBS!

Beckett: _16, 16, 16 minutes till we'll are number one_

_The Pearl and the Dutchman started blowing the crap out of the Endeavour_

Groves: OH TO HECK WITH ORDERS! ABANDON SHIP! 'Jumps off the Endeavour'

James Norrington watching from above: I spent ten years training Lieutenant Groves and look! I produced a coward!

Groves: I HEARD THAT!

Norrington: Like I care


	38. Chapter 38

I do not own AWE

Chapter 38

_Okay, back to Beckett. He began walking down the stairs in a daze, sort of like Frankenstein's Monster, but shorter. The ship was gonna get skooshed but noooooo, some stupid sailor chose to stay on board even after Lieutenant Groves gave the orders to abandon ship. _

Stupid sailor 1: Come on! Let's just stay on board and wait to die, we are not important anyway

Stupid sailor 14: Yeah! Good idea! Maybe Beckett would give us a promotion after this!

Not so stupid sailor 38: I don't think there is an 'after this'

Beckett: 'walks down the stairs' I am so dead 'giggles'

_Meanwhile, on board the Pearl, Elizabeth was having a fine time blasting the crap out of the Endeavour. _

Barbossa: come on! Let's kill this shortie! DIE DIE DIE!

Authoress: Over reacting much?

Beckett: I'M SO DEAD! Hmmmmm, fireworks, pretty 'tap dances'

_Then the whole ship blew up. Scene shows Beckett falling into the sea on top of an East India trading company flag. _

Beckett: Jacuzzi!

Authoress: Shut up, you are dead

Beckett: I AM?

Authoress: You should be

Beckett: Okay 'dies'

_Everyone on the pearl and the Dutchman was happy_

Will: WOOO! PARTY!

Random Pirate: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES………………

Elizabeth: I LOVE MYSELF!

Pause

Barbossa: That's just creepy

Elizabeth: WHO CARES! I KILLED BECKETT!

Will: NO! You didn't, I did

Elizabeth: no! I did

Barbossa: Okay, stop fighting, children

Chinese Pirate lord: YIPPEEE! 'Throws popcorns'

French Pirate lord: 'dance the robot'

Bruce: 'did the moonwalk'

Everyone: 'paranoid'

_Ten hours later……………….._

Will's dad: Hiya, why are you sad?

Will: 'cuz I am, like, never gonna see Lizzie again

Will's dad: oh! Look! There's Lizzie!

Will: WHERE?!?! 'Tramps over his dad to see Elizabeth'

Will's dad: I am so gonna-

Will: there's no Lizzie! 'Tramps over Dad again'

Will's dad: haha! Tricked you!

Will: 'starts weeping buckets'

_On board the Pearl…_

Elizabeth: I will miss you guys

You-Guys: aww, I am so touched

Pause

Elizabeth: ummm 'kills You-Guys' I'll miss you, Jack

Jack: 'watery eyes' Iamnotgonnacry, Iamnotgonnacry, Iamnotgonnacry………

Elizabeth: seeya, Gibbs

Gibbs: sob

Pause

Elizabeth: I gotta go, bye! 'Gets into boat'

Everyone on board the Pearl: Seeya! 'Throws spit-balls'


	39. Chapter 39

I do not own AWE

Chapter 39

_Scene shows Elizabeth and Will on the beach doing god knows what_

Elizabeth: 'to Will' bye

Will: What?

Elizabeth: we are not going to see each other for anther ten years

Norrington from above: and I can go haunting Lizzie in her dreams

Will: Did you say something?

Elizabeth: did you?

Norrington from above: 'sniggers' idiots

Will: I swore you said something; it sounds like 'fillets' 'drops anchor on his foot'

Elizabeth: I did not say anything

Norrington from above: Why did I bothering talking to you two pieces of cheese?

Elizabeth: Did you just say cheese?

Pause

Norrington from above: I am outta here

Will: Did you just say-

Authoress: Just GO!

Will: 'wrote GO AWAY with his butt'

Elizabeth: 'gets all teary eye and such' Bye

Will: Awww, I'll miss-

Elizabeth: I am talking to the crab next to you!

Pause

Will: 'looks down and sees Monster Crab of DOOM' That's a-CRAB!!!!!!!

_The crab decided that Will's leg is delicious, so it bite down HARD on Will_

Will: 'hopping on one leg' GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

_Back on the Pearl….._

Jack: What's Eunuch Boy doing?

Gibbs: I have no idea, maybe its Elizabeth

Jack: Why would-Never mind


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

_Ten years later……DUN DUN DUN!!!! Haha, nothing changed much. Just kidding. Anyway, Elizabeth had a child! _

Young Turner: 'skipping down to the edge of a cliff' yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me 'falls off cliff'

Elizabeth: Will! This is the 2935746983576958376th time you are doing this!

Young Turner: really? Is it that much?

Elizabeth: 'sighs' never, keep your eyes on the horizon

Young Turner: why?

Elizabeth:……um, because Winnie the Pooh lives there!

Young Turner: OOOOOOooooooh!!!

_There was a sudden flash of light and the Dutchman appeared_

Young Turner: where's Winnie??!

Elizabeth: nope, there's no Winnie but your dad's here!

Pause

Young Turner: I have a dad?

Elizabeth: 'rolls eyes' no, you have a komodo dragon

Young Turner: 'sees Will on board of the Dutchman' that retarded gay-man clinging onto the sail certainly looks like a komodo dragon

Elizabeth:………………..

_Meanwhile, on the Dutchman…………_

Will: 'singing' I am the mighty komodo man, I am the mighty komodo man!

Bootstrap: do you have issues?!?!?

Will: Do I have tissues?!?!?!

Bootstrap: never mind.

_Back at Tortuga……………………_

Jack: 'walking with Giselle and Scarlet' so, ladies, would you like to see my ship??!?! It has sails, starboard and even paddles!

Scarlet: Awesome!

Jack: Wait till you see my ship, it's lovely and it's……………..GONE?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!!?! 'Stares at the dinghy'

Gibbs: 'snoring and hugging his stuff dog' hmmmmmm……..HITLER!!?!?! 'Wakes up'

Jack: Mister Gibbs, I am sorry it sounds rude but WHERE THE PHUCK DID MY SHIP DISAPPEAR TO?!?!?!?!??!

Gibbs: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no idea

Jack: 'gags' MY BABY!!!!! RETURN TO ME!!!!! PLEASE!!!

Giselle: you cheated us!

Scarlet: let's feed him to the sharks!

Giselle: YEAH!

Pause

Scarlet: Where do we get the sharks?

Pause

Giselle: No idea, let's just go and seduce Mister Gibbs

Scarlet: okay

_Scarlet and Giselle walked off with Gibbs_

_Meanwhile, on the black pearl….._

Pintel: 'to barbossa' you know, most of the crew felt bad leaving Jack behind

Barbossa: oh, I don't give a shit

Ragetti: so we are suppose to search for the fountain of youth? Is that what it is called?

Pause

Barbossa: no idea

Pause

Everyone: LOL 'flings poop at Barbossa'

Barbossa: it's okay, I have the map 'opens map and revealed a hole in it' HOLLY SHIT! WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!?!

Everyone: JACK SPARROW!!!!!

_Meanwhile in the dinghy….. _

Jack: 'opens up the cut out portion of the map' yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me, REALLY BAD EGGSSSS!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! 'Tips rum overboard' OMG! RUM!!!! 'Jumps overboard to get it'

Shark from Black Pearl Parody: hello, shark chow! Nice to meet you, buddy

Jack: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttt

End


	41. Epilogue

Epilogue

_Here's a nice ending for you awesome readers out there._

_In Heavens…._

Beckett: Hi old friend, how are you doing?

Norrington: sod off

Beckett: Oooooh a little pissed off, are we?

Norrington: no, I am disappointed. I spent years training Lieutenant Groves and there he was, escaping from danger

Beckett: who is Groves?

Norrington: your favourite lieutenant

Beckett: who?

Norrington: 'sigh' the super suck-up guy who works on your ship

Beckett: 'blank look'

Norrington: 'imitating Groves' YES SIR! RIGHT AWAY SIR! WHATEVER YOU WANT SIR!

Beckett: ooooooooh! THAT guy!

Norrington: yep

Beckett: oh-ho!

Pause

Beckett: You wanna go cloud fighting?

Norrington: no, not really

Beckett: pur-lease!

Norrington: NO!

Beckett: 'puppy eyes' oh come on!

Norrington: don't you have better things to do?

Beckett: nope

Norrington: 'sigh'

_Just then, Gillette pops in_

Gillette: YO! Wazzup?

Beckett: Just sitting around, having a chat

Norrington: Go away Gillette

Gilette: 'budweiser commercial royal navy style' ...WAZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Beckett: ..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

Gillette: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

Norrington: Oh shit


End file.
